I stood, leaning against the worktop, trying to control my breathing. What had I done? The one person who I'd never intentionally hurt in a million years, and I'd broken him with just a few words. That look in his eyes would haunt me forever. I had to make things right, make him understand I was doing this to stop either of us getting hurt even more! I headed back to the living room, intending to try and heal some of the hurt I'd caused him, but when I opened the door, Mark was gone. I looked out the window, desperately hoping to see his car still there, but there was no sign. I raked my fingers through my hair, frantically trying to calm my panic. Quickly grabbing my phone, I found his number, and dialled. Straight to voicemail. He'd obviously switched it off. I had no other way to contact him, didn't know where he lived, or any of his friends. Curling myself into a ball on the sofa, I cried for hours. Slowly, as night turned to day, I realised I couldn't stay here any longer. I packed all our stuff, and when the kids woke, got them ready and headed to the train station. My dream holiday had just turned into a living nightmare.
Both kids must have sensed something was wrong. They were both little angels on the eight hour train journey. Joe kept holding my hand and asking if I was ok.
"I'm fine sweetheart, just very tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." I assured him, holding him close. I'd texted Mark a few times on the train but there was no reply. I just wanted a chance to explain, but I think I'd blown that by tearing his heart to shreds last night. How could I have been so stupid?! Finally, we reached our stop, and I bundled us all into a taxi. The house felt strange, empty almost, even though the kids were running around, grabbing their toys and playing. I dumped the luggage, picked up the mail, and put the kettle on. Noticing an official looking envelope in amongst the bills and junk, I opened it. Divorce papers! It hit me like a punch! He'd only left two days ago and already James was filing for divorce. He'd obviously already had all this in motion before I found out. I stared at the paper, lost in thought, when my phone buzzed, pulling me out of my reverie. It was a text from my best friend Lisa.
"Hey, sorry to disturb your holiday, but I have some news and I wanted you to be the first to know. Alex proposed last night and I said yes. We're engaged!!"
Life just had it in for me right now. Could it actually get any worse? I couldn't even reply. I'd wait until the morning before I pretended everything was fine and text her back. Right now, all I wanted to do was sleep. At least in my dreams, the world couldn't hurt me.
