I barely slept a wink that night. I was exhausted but my brain had other ideas. If I wasn't thinking about losing Mark, I was panicking about how I was going to be able to keep up the mortgage payments and bills. I was only working part time and there was no way my meagre salary would cover everything. Eventually, struggling even to breathe through the anxiety, I got up. It was still dark outside but that suited my mood. I made a cup of tea and took it into the living room. I'd switched my phone to silent when I went to bed, intending to ignore the rest of the world for as long as possible, but when I glanced at it I saw there were several texts and missed calls. It was James!
"Hope you managed to sort something out for getting home. Give the kids a kiss from me."
That was it?! No apology, no mention of the divorce papers. Nothing.
"We're already Home. Oh and thanks for the lovely letter I came back to. You really are a piece of work James. Please don't contact me again. From now on, all correspondence can go through our lawyers."
I hit send with a sense of relief. Now that I'd said it, I knew James had burnt his bridges. He'd got what he wanted, and I wasn't going to let him ruin my life any more than he already had.
I spent the rest of the morning sending emails to solicitors, and calling work to let them know I was going to need some extra time off. My boss was brilliant, she told me to take as long as I needed and just to keep her in the loop. I also sent Lisa a text just to say congratulations and I would see her when we were home. By lunch time the kids were getting restless so we went for a walk. The fresh air did us all a world of good, it was lovely just to feel the sun on my face. Feeling more relaxed, we made our way home, where we made some homemade pizza for dinner, then it was bath and bedtime for the kids. They were tired so fell asleep in no time. This was the time of day that was the most difficult. With the kids asleep, I had less to keep me occupied and my brain went into overdrive. I just kept going over and over my words to Mark and that look on his face! I needed to make it right, but how? Could I have thrown away the only chance I had?
