you, only

chap. 4 | miyu

+ it was as if  the gods above were laughing at me, like they planned for this very moment to happen, where i collided with the one person i've always avoided ever since my first and only interaction with him. did god have to be so cruel?
and why was lee donghyuck staring at me like that?

"you're not thinking straight. i'll take you to the nurse, okay?" i said to him.

he struck his head back and blinked repeatedly, signaling that he was taken aback from what i had said about him. i for some reason, didn't feel guilty saying something like that. because at this moment, i was uncomfortable. i was genuinely uncomfortable, and i wanted so desperately to get out of this situation i had caused upon myself because of my carelessness when running in the hallways. even if it was my fault and i knew it was my part to express my apologies, i just couldn't bring myself to say sorry to him.
all he's ever done is cause trouble.
and i wanted nothing to do with that.

donghyuck, who looked more grown up than freshman year, clicked his tongue. "i'm not delusional, i'm lee donghyuck. donghyuck lee! don't you remember me?" he said with a smirk on his face.

i crossed my arms, trying to seem tough and not like my heart was beating out of my chest. "of course i remember you," i said, "and i don't regret what i did back then."
did that sound mean? was i being rude?

"well, you're going to be thinking differently very soon." he said with a unmovable smile.
can he please stop smiling?!?!
my hands quickly covered my mouth as the sudden realization struck me.
i just said that out loud.

"i'm sorry but i can't, my smile is irresistible." donghyuck replied and shot me a finger heart.

i tried to remember all the remarks my best friend had taught me whenever i encountered a rude and talkative person. oh right!

"in your dreams." i said.

"wow, you got cute and rude."

i rolled my eyes, "i'm not rude." i said sternly.
remember remarks 101 : always have a stern face and voice!! that's what mom said!!

he scoffed, "you're being rude to me right now." his eyes wandered around the halls and then looked back at me saying, "now that i think of it, you've always been rude. at least to me."

i didn't say anything, instead kept a glare shot right at him.
donghyuck cooed, "your gaze is absolutely piercing."

"why are you being like this?" i asked.

"because," he inched in closer, "despite us always getting off the wrong footing, we have to deal with each other now. even if you're rude, and maybe just to me, that's okay."

i looked away, "and why is that okay?"

donghyuck smirked, "i already told you, miyu len!" he moved to the way i was looking and locked our eyes, "because you've gotten cute." he smiled and backed away, then proceeded to get up from the ground. the taller boy offered me a hand, but instead i refused and got up on my own. i brushed the dirt that had landed on me prior the collision and avoided looking at donghyuck as much as i could.

i raised my head up and already saw him walking the opposite direction, his back facing towards me. i almost exhaled a sigh of relief until i watched his body turn back to face me, and was greeted with an infuriating smile from the honey-skin boy. he put his hands around his mouth and happily yelled, "and just so you know, we're lab partners! see you in chemistry, miyu len!"

i stood there motionless.
wow, the gods are so cruel.

—

"you're telling me this shit actually happened?" my best friend, rina, screamed carelessly in the already booming cafeteria after i finished my rant about today's latest occurrence. i nodded my head as i sulked on the inside, and honestly at this point, the outside as well. luckily for today i had missed chemistry, meaning i was able to avoid lee donghyuck for an entire class, which is a situation i wanted to experience everyday now. but instead, after this one and only day, my daily experience will consist of being lab partners with donghyuck for an entire semester, and depending on the teacher, maybe the entire year. i sighed heavily, my heart feeling weighted down as i sagged my shoulders in stress.

"yes," i exhaled, "this actually happened. just this morning.."

rina pulled me into a side hug and fluffed my hair. "you know what you have to do?"

my eyes redirected its gaze to rina. "what?" i asked.

"tell him you have a boyfriend."

i shot upwards. "what the hell rina?! there's no point in that! it's not like he likes me, let alone that way.."

i saw her roll her eyes at me as she said, "then why did he say 'when'd you get so cute?' does that even make sense for him to say that if he didn't like you?"

"no, he hates me."

"hate is a strong word."

a pout was now visible on my face, "but rina.. how could he not hate me? i reported him and got him expelled for two years, wouldn't that automatically form a life long grudge towards me? and plus, whenever i see him it's like all this anger starts building inside of me and i just let it all out on him—"

rina shut me up by placing her hand on my mouth.
i wasn't done talking... which is what i had thought to myself as my best friend's hand was blocking my human speaker with her hand, so i did what any other friend would do.

"did you just lick my hand!?" she yelled.

"i wasn't done talking!" i replied between breathless laughs, my stomach started to churn and hurt from laughing too hard. my best friend wiped her wet hand onto my cardigan and in protest i stuck my tongue out at her. her face started to scrunch up intensely as she desperately tried to push me away from her. a groan left her voice, which had caused me to burst out laughing even more.

"this..." she pointed at me, "is why you can't have nice things. god, i need a living block button, i'd slap that button like a maniac for you!"

"but i wasn't done talking..." i replied softly.

rina sighed and fluffed my hair once more. "fine. keep talking."

"thank you! i'll buy you ice cream after school today."

my best friend shook her head. "nah, i should be the one buying you ice cream for skipping half of the school day just to come to my doctor's appointment. you know you didn't have to do that right?"

"of course i had to! it was an important event!"

she scoffed, "oh shut up! but in all seriousness, thank you for that. now get back to your pointless rant, only if you promise not to lick me again."

i smiled, "of course!!!"

and with that, i went on and on about the likelihood of donghyuck hating me to my guts, and the foreign feeling of rage swelling up inside of me when i see donghyuck. my rant lasted the whole lunch period, and the only conclusion me and rina has come up with was something i never really thought of.

to befriend lee donghyuck.

"or i could just beat him up!" rina yelled behind me.