Spaces Between Us

Zayn

Hello, I'm very happy to see you here and I hope you'll enjoy reading this book. This si the most read chapter of the book and so I would like to say this here; if you could find a minute in your day to please go check out my Zayn/ One Direction AU A Penny For Your Tear it would mean so much to me. It's doing quite bad and practically all the reads on it are my own from editing, I know it's sad. It's beautiful story and the ending once it's finished will leave you shocked. So, please, please go check it out. Feel free to follow me and now, on to the story.

Five years.

It had been five fucking years; yet here I was, returning to the very place, to the very people, I swore I'd never come back to. I looked out the window at the planes arriving and leaving the airport. I smiled remembering the first time I had gotten on a plane;

" Ah come on Zayn, it's not that bad. You're acting like you've never been on a plane before!"

I glanced briefly at Louis, trying to make as little movement as possible, gripping my arm rest as if my life depended on it.

"I haven't ,you fucking idiot." I mumbled under my breath, I didn't even own a passport before One direction and Louis knew that fact very well.

"What did you say? I can't hear you Zaynie!"  He screeched into my ear and began to shake my chair, I shrieked and grabbed onto Harry's arm. I closed my eyes and began to pray profusely. Harry laughed and patted my arm;

"There, there Zayn. It'll be ok, we'll be on land in no time. You'll be happy when we land, we'll be in America. I hear the food is amazing. Don't worry, I'll be here the entire time."

I heard Louis laughing hysterically behind him, Harry shot him a glare and Liam quickly scolded him. As the plane began to take off, I felt my chest tighten, a strange sensation filled my stomach and I clenched my eyes shut. Harry's arm no longer provided me comfort and I found myself wheezing and gasping for breath. I felt a hand on my back and all of a sudden all four boys were around me. Louis softly began singing and soon the rest joined him, slowly calming me down. By the time, I opened my eyes and settled into my seat we were already in air and had been for an hour.

"There's nothing like a song from good old tommo right zaynie?" I felt Louis pinch my cheeks, I swatted his hands away and give him a small smile.

"Some Bradford bad boy you are," I heard Niall tease, Harry chuckled next to me.

"Ok boys, you leave Zayn alone now. He's still got to get through the  turbulence."

My head shot up, "Turbulence? What turbulence?" I questioned frantically and the boys all burst into laughter.

I chuckled fondly at the memory, it was my first time on a plane ever, and they were there for me. Since then, I've been on countless planes but without them it still felt strange and unsettling.

"Mr Malik, you may board your flight."

"Mr Malik?"

My gaze left the window and settled on the flight attendant in front of me. I was really going to do this, I looked back and saw Gigi waving at me, she gave me thumbs up for support and I returned it with a brief smile. She was then asked to leave by security, as soon as she was out of eyesight my smile faltered. I couldn't do this, I couldn't go back there. They wouldn't want me there anyway. They hate me, they've made it clear. Countless tweets, tv interviews and phone calls have proven that to me.

"Sir, will you board the plane or not we haven't got all day and you are not our only passenger." The once friendly flight attendant was no longer so and I was completely taken aback. It had been awhile since someone spoke to me like that and I didn't know how to respond.

"I uhm I-" Before I could formulate my words, I was pushed towards my terminal by my manager. She grabbed my ticket and briefly thanked the flight attendant before catching up with me.

"What is wrong with you Zayn!" She exclaimed, frustrated,as we boarded our flight, I looked at her, my eyes filled with dread;

"Michelle, I can't do this. This will not end will, they don't want me there."

She huffed loudly as we sat down, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Nonsense, Zayn. This isn't about them. You are going to attend a funeral, alright. You being there is not only the right thing to do, but it looks good, your press appearance is already bad enough as it is, do not make things worse. We ask so little of you and yet-" I watched her mouth move but my brain wasn't registering the words coming out of them. As I watched her speak, I wondered why I had chosen her  to be my manager, I wondered what on earth I saw in her.

"Zayn, you need to get it together. If not for yourself , then for the boys, the fans!"

I exhaled and ran a hand through my hair in frustration, "Simon, you don't understand. I'm tired, I can't-"

"Then make me understand Zayn!" He slammed his fist onto the table. "These past months, you've been absent, missing rehearsals and  making up one excuse after the other. You get drunk, you  get angry and you pick fights. We've all tried to help you with whatever it is you are going through, but we can't help you, if you won't help yourself." He reached out to give a comforting touch but I push him away leaving the office and slamming the door on my way out.

'Simon fucking Cowell' I thought to myself, 'the big guy, the know-it-all.' I slid down a wall and sat on the floor resting my head on my knees. I could hear a pair of heels walk by and stop in front of me. I lifted my head and looked up;

"I couldn't help but overhear, well who am I kidding the whole building heard you, I'm Michelle Wilms and I may be able help solve your problem. Come let's have a talk in my office."

Michelle Wilms was quite the character, I should have known she was bad news seeing as she went behind her own employer's back to get me. She was fired from Syco but it didn't matter she had me and all the press she needed. She said she'd make me a star and she promised me happiness.

She made me a star alright but I'm still waiting for that happiness to arrive.