Smile

four; undeniable cabin fever

SMILE – ZIAM
PART FOUR; UNDENIABLE CABIN FEVER
WORDS: 1 006
CHAPTER SONG: I WANNA GET BETTER BY THE BLEACHERS
WARNINGS: PANIC ATTACKS

8:40PM

Zayn is panicking. Zayn is definitely, completely panicking. He’s promised his family and now he’s not even allowed outside the café. Stupid snow. “No,” he says, wriggling free of Liam’s grip. “I need to get back to Bradford – I promised,”

Liam raises both his hands in surrender, “I’m really sorry, but even if I’d let you go earlier, you wouldn’t be able to go very far. We’re snowed in. You’d only go a few metres without being knee-deep in snow.”

Zayn lets his body slump against the seat that’s pressing into his back. (To think he was smiling a few seconds ago!) He opens his mouth, as if to say something, and Liam opens his as if to proactively combat, but Zayn thinks it over and concludes that it’s no use yelling. Instead, he curls himself up into an even smaller ball and nudges his face on his knees.

Liam reaches out, to touch Zayn’s shoulder in a somewhat (hopefully) comforting fashion but the black-haired boy flinches away. “I’m sorry,” Liam whispers, “If it’s any help, I didn’t want this to happen. Who wants to be snowed in inside a dodgy café on Christmas Eve? I didn’t mean to scare you.” He leans in a little closer; Zayn can feel Liam’s breath on her ears. “Promise.”

It’s not a promise as Zayn sees it. (He thinks it’s empty, hollow. Worthless.) He wants to push Liam away but he’s so exhausted, tired from writing all day and weak from lack of nutrients due to his only consumption being black coffee. He can’t really breathe properly.

(Who is he kidding? He can’t breathe.)

Zayn’s body starts to shake and he tries to do the ‘ooh’ – ‘eee’ breathing pattern that he’s been advised to do but he can’t. All that his body seems to know how to do is wheeze and cough and splutter hopelessly. Liam’s face flashes over with that anxious expression that Zayn is so, so familiar with. “W-what can I do? Can I help?” Liam rambles, and instinctively wraps his arms around Zayn’s thin, unstable frame.

“I c-can’t br-breathe.” Zayn tries to shout but all of his air has escaped (somehow) from his tired, torn lungs.

“Oh, God,” Liam sighs and runs a hand through his short, brown hair. “Can I do something?”

Zayn stretches out his legs, his knobbly knees cracking quietly, and Liam can suddenly see the black-haired boy’s paling, teary face. It pulls on his heart strings, definitely. “J-just…” Zayn stutters.

“Just what?”

“Tell me it’ll be, like. All right. Tell me you’ll get me home before morning dawns.”

Liam freezes in his current position (which is awkwardly hugging Zayn) and whispers something like, “But it’s impossible to get through the snow. There’s no way you can get to Bradford by morning.”

Zayn shakes his head and spoons up closer into Liam’s torso. He feels… protected, somehow. “I don’t care.” he says.

“Okay,” Liam mumbles, barely a hushed voice in the dark. He leans in impossibly closer until his lips are nearly touching Zayn’s neck, his head nuzzled into the crook of the Bradford boy’s collarbones. “It’s going to be all right.”

It’s a lie, but it works.

9:30PM

Zayn nibbles on his bottom lip while Liam inadvertently swears at his iPhone. Liam taps another button on his keyboard but he only lets another vulgarity escape his lips. “Bloody hell,” he says, “Sorry, I don’t usually swear this much, ‘s just. My phone hates me.”

“That’s fine,” Zayn nearly snaps, rather robotically. Liam picks up on it and for the love of God, does he ever stop grinning?

“What’s so funny?” Zayn asks, slight venom to his voice.

Liam just shakes his head. “I just tried to check the weather forecast, y’know, to see if we could by any chance get out but the signal is down.”

Zayn quirks an eyebrow. “How’s that funny?”

“It’s not; it’s actually quite a travesty.” Liam gets up from the floor so he can sit down on the seats in the booth, so only his ankles and sneakers are visible to Zayn. “Smiling just helps me deal with stuff, I guess.”

Zayn crawls up to sit with the coffee-shop boy. “I s’pose that’s a pretty good coping tactic.”

Then, Liam stands up, a massive grin on his face even though it doesn’t match his eyes. “You should try it sometime.”

To hell with it, thinks the tattooed boy, and twists his mouth into what he regards as a smile. He even taps Liam on the shoulder to notify him of this new development, and when he turns around, Liam envelopes Zayn in a hug that, for some reason, isn’t close to how awkward their first hug was – in fact, it’s not awkward at all.

“You’re smiling.” Liam mumbles against Zayn’s neck, just below his ear.

“I did it for you,” Zayn confides, quiet, and he reluctantly releases his hold on the fair-skinned boy.

“If you did it for yourself, we wouldn’t have a problem,” Liam crosses his arms, before he walks off in one direction and flicks a light switch. “But don’t get me wrong. I really do appreciate it.” he says, just as the entire room’s light is improved tenfold by a dim little desk lamp on a smaller table in the corner, where Zayn can see Liam standing.

“Thanks,” Zayn folds his hands over each other behind his back. And he might be blushing, but the light’s too dim to see.

“Now, drink your hot chocolate before it goes cold,” Liam says, and winks, and Zayn doesn’t even think anything to do with how much Liam looks like a movie star in this lighting. (Zayn might actually have to make some adjustments to the character of ‘Liam’ in his story.)

Zayn just nods once, slowly, and scoops his cardboard cup up from the table, holding it in his palms. He takes a sip, and it’s nearly as cold as ice, but he drinks it anyway. For Liam.

(Undeniable Cabin Fever seems to have its perks.)

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: woah this chapter was pretty heavy sorry :p. but we get to see a little more into zayn’s character, don’t we? liam’s too. also, zayn had a bit of a panic attack but that’s okay because, honestly, it happens to the best of us. if you ever feel anxious like zayn is, feel free to dm me. i actually wrote this chapter on a notepad throughout two school days and i cannot begin to tell you how many weird looks my friend (not a fan of 1d) gave me when they saw the words ‘zayn’ and ‘liam’ on my notepad haha ;)

QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER:
How do you think Liam dealt with Zayn’s panic? Do you think he handled it well? How did Zayn handle it