Flicker [N.H.]

Chapter 1

Tuesday, 24th of January, 2017

8 pm

'And you know that I'd
Swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild, give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Is it enough?
But there's robbers to the east
Clowns to the West
I'd give you my sunshine
Give you my best
But the rain is always gonna come
If you're standing with me'

'Come on, stop, let's talk,' Ray grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I dropped the shirt I was holding in my hand. 'It's nothing, we can work it out, it was just one fucking night.'

 I looked at him and he was just smirking at me. His hold around my wrist tightened. He pulled me in and tried to kiss me, but I turned away. My gaze shifted to the window for a second. I was going to miss this view, the Golden Gate bridge under the night sky, all the beautiful little lights that seemed to be shining just for me even on the darkest nights.

'What the fuck, Ray!? Let me go. I just wanna get my stuff and I'm leaving,' I tried to free myself, but he wrapped his arms around me, tightening his grip.

'Look, it's okay, you can stay, you can leave all these things here.'

'I don't want to, Ray,' I pushed him away with effort. He was so much stronger than me that I barely even moved him.

 He let me go carefully and looked me dead in the eye, losing the stupid smile off his face.

'Why do you wanna leave? Huh?', he grabbed my bag, opened it and emptied half of it on the bed.

 I let out a small sigh. I closed my eyes, because I was on the verge of tears, but never in a million years was I ever gonna let this man see me cry ever again. I breathed in and opened my eyes, looking directly at his.

'Are you seriously asking me this now? After all these years, after all these fights and all the fucking pain you've caused me, are you seriously asking me this right now?'

'Well... yeah. Tell me why are you leaving after all we've achieved.'

'Achieved? We've achieved nothing, love. Nothing,' I smiled with sadness washing all over me. 'You've been humiliating me in front of all the people we know for years and now you're reffering to something that you don't even remember as 'one night'? You don't remember me coming to pick you up in the middle of the night from the doorstep of some random girl, but I do. I do and I don't think I'll ever forget that. I don't think I'll ever forget what I felt last night. You know what she said, when I told her I was your girlfriend? No, wait, I told her I was your fucking fiancée. And you know what she said? That you never mentioned me. So if I'm not worth mentioning to your dear friend, whom I've never even heard about, I guess this relationship is not worth it. None of this is worth staying for, do you understand what I'm fucking saying?'

'Whatever, just forget it, okay? I said I was sorry, I got too wasted, I didn't know what I was doing. We've seen worse, Anne, come on.'

'Exactly, Ray. We've seen worse. And I should've ended this earlier and I regret not doing it, honestly, my biggest regret is that I let you treat me like this for so long,' I pushed him away and went to grab my bag. I quickly slipped a few books in it.

'You'll never move on. Just like all these times before. We broke up, like, what, 3 times, is it? And you'd still come back to me. You'll never be anyone else's, you know that, right?', he put his hand on my right shoulder, turning me around. I looked at him with disgust.