The Dark Side of Hell

Part 1

Alright, here goes nothin...

I was born March 24th 2000 at 3:24 AM.

Ironic. I know.

From what I have gathered, most people are thrilled when they find out that they're going to be parents, which is completely understandable. Having met the love of my life, we have discussed having a family and that is generally a pretty exciting topic for us.

But, what you've gotta understand is, my parents weren't exactly fond of the idea of having children and the original plan had been to avoid reproduction altogether, so, as you can imagine, when I came into the picture, they weren't particularly overjoyed.

Before we get too far into this story, I guess I'd better give you a little background information. It might help you to learn a little bit more about Shannon and William Asher.

Dear old, Mom and Pops. 

Now, there's no doubt that you'll make your own judgements and form your own opinions of my parents as you read, but I'll try and give you some bonus information. 

You see, my parents got married right out of college which I gotta say, has never made any fucking sense to me, whatsoever. I could never even possibly begin to understand the logic or reasoning behind that decision.

You may think that is hypocritical for me to say considering that I married by beautiful fiancée just after high school, but age has nothing to do with my skepticism. I married my wife at 18 because I love her more than anything in this world. She is the light of my life and there is no one on Earth that I would rather spend the rest of eternity with, than her. 

My main concern, if you want to call it that, with my parents' union is the fact that they don't love each other. You may think that's an absurd statement but I can guarantee you, my parents can't stand to be anywhere near each other. As to why they got married, I have no fucking clue.

They were about 22 when they tied the knot and I was born about 2 years later. What happened in the 2 years that I was not in existence, I can't say. Maybe they got along. Maybe they didn't. There is honestly know way of knowing for sure. All I can tell you, is that from the time I was born to now, my Mom and Dad have maintained a deeply mutual hatred for one another.

Neither one of them really cared about morality or overall virtue as far as fidelity was concerned, and I am fairly sure they both lacked any sort of conscious, whatsoever. You see, for as long as I can remember, they were both involved in various affairs. My scumbag of a Father would sleep with just about any woman he found even remotely attractive, while my bitch of a Mother was out getting wasted with the men from her law firm, because, why the hell not?

Looking back, I am honestly shocked that they didn't kill one another. I mean, they were both angry and psychotic enough to commit murder if it really came down to it, but for some reason, they're still together. Keep in mind, that I use the word "together" in the loosest way possible, for reasons you will soon discover.

All this fucked up shit, brings us to the relative time of my conception and eventual birth. As I mentioned before, my parents didn't want kids, so how they ended up pregnant is beyond me. But if I give it my best guess, they were probably both drunk beyond any sort of legal limit.

When Shannon found out she was pregnant, she wasn't too happy. In fact, she blamed the old man for the entire situation, claiming he took advantage of her drunken state. Truthfully, I think this was probably complete bullshit but I guess it doesn't really matter at this point.

Point is, they were both furious and were pretty desperate to get rid of the baby, but as you are all relatively intelligent individuals, you can obviously see it didn't exactly work out quite how they were hoping it would. And if you're sitting there asking yourself, why she didn't just get an abortion? I can tell you, it wasn't for lack of trying. 

You see, what happened was, by the time she found out she was pregnant, she was too far along to have a legal procedure done, despite how hard she had looked. So, at that point, she really had no other choice but to give birth, fortunately for me. Or unfortunately, depending on what aspect of my life you're choosing to look at. 

Now, those of you who have sane parents may be wondering why I even know this information to begin with, because what Mother would tell her son, she tried to have an abortion? Well, the answer is, my Mother. Several times. At least once a week. Something along the lines of...

"I never wanted you!"

Or...

"I should've gotten rid of you when I had the chance!"

You know, all those things parents say to their children. 

A lot of you may be questioning why adoption was never an option and honestly, I don't know. You'd have to bring that up with Shannon. As for William, I mean considering he didn't even bother to show up whilst she was in labor, I highly doubt he'd be able to give you an answer. 

So, yeah, as the story goes, Mom gave brith on March 24th at 3:24 AM and for whatever reason she chose to keep me. Isn't that just fantastic?

But, what happened, was that in order for her to be able to leave the hospital, she had to choose a name for the brith certificate. Great.

This being said, I am fairly certain that the majority of you have some kind of cute story behind how you got your names or some reasoning as to why your parents picked it but I don't think that there will be too many of you who can say your Mom named you after the guy she was sleeping with that week. Lucky me. 

Truthfully, had it been an option, I don't think she would've given me a name to begin with, but seeing as it was mandatory, she chose Tristan. Yep. The man she was having an affair with. 

Obviously, I have no recollection of any of these events, I am just going off what I have been told over the years. But, knowing my parents, I don't doubt their stories and I'm sure you wouldn't either, had you ever had the unfortunate experience of interacting with them.

As far as I know, after having left the emergency room or whatever, I was left with my grandparents for about a week, while Shannon went to Vegas (probably to get drunk or stoned). William on the other hand, still, had no fucking idea that I even existed. Not that he would've cared anyway.

But oddly enough, Shannon did come back for me, though I wish she wouldn't have seeing as that from then on, it only got worse.