Emma (before Red Band Society)

Leo Roth

It's Monday. The beginning of my third week here. I feel a lot better than I did when I arrived. Yesterday and today I have had a juice box and half of a crescent roll for breakfast. They said today I can go to school here. I was really nervous so I stood up and looked in my closet. I picked out a white button down, a green pullover sweater, and some blue jeans. I decided I would wear my black flats with it. I was just looking for warmth. I was still cold most of the time. I remember how the day before, nobody came to visit me. Nurse Jackson came in and interrupted my depressing thoughts. "Ready for school, Emma?" I responded "Yep. Ready as I'll ever be."

She walked me to the elevator and then to a classroom. There were several kids my age, maybe some younger and some older, in there and an empty desk. Right next to that guy Leo was the empty desk. I realized he was in a wheel chair this time. I sat down and the teacher introduced me to the class. They all clapped. I saw he was missing a leg and he looked in my direction. I had to look away and force myself to never look back. We were passing a handout around and I was looking in the wrong direction. Leo tapped my arm which made me wince. He apologized and pulled a piece of paper from the stack for me and gave the rest of the papers to the person to my right. "I'm Leo. Osteosarcoma." He extended his hand to shake mine. I shook his hand. "I'm..Emma." I wasn't going to say what I was in for. He did look like he was expecting me to say why I was here, though. A guy behind us started to talk to Leo about plans for the day. I waved at him after Leo said his name was Dash. I found out he has cystic fibrosis. They made a little inside joke about his condition and I just gave a half smile. I turned back around and worked on the handout.

When school was over, Leo invited me to go to the cafeteria with him and Dash. I said sure. I was so mesmerized by this guy and I didn't want him to think something was wrong with me. We went to the cafeteria and stood in line. Dash looked at me after grabbing a tray for me. "Oh, no thank you. I'm sort of on a diet." Which wasn't necessarily a lie. I was on a diet that the hospital administers. Dash laughed "Come on, Emma, you're the skinniest person in the world." I looked down. I didn't know how to respond.

Dash put the tray back after staring at me for a second. I didn't like his eyes on me so I crossed my arms. I could see Leo looking at me too and he started nodding his head before he turned around and shoved Dash. "Shut up. Just get your food and move." I looked up. I was really surprised at how he stood up for me and he didn't even know that I was hurt. Or maybe he had figured it out now. We sat at a round table in the cafeteria. Dash walked away to talk to some 'pretty ladies'. I looked down at my hands.

Leo broke the silence between us "How long have you been here?" I told him it was my third week then asked how long he had been there. "I've been here for a month." I looked down at where his leg would be. "I had it amputated five days ago." I nodded. That was pretty obvious. I swallowed hard. "That was really nice what you did..standing up for me in the line." He replied "That was nothing. Dash can be a jerk sometimes."

I smiled while looking down. "So you have...um.." He had a puzzled expression. I felt it was time to share it. "Anorexia." Admitting that was so hard to do. But the only feedback he gave me was a nod as if he was going to say that. "Hey, want to come by my room?"

"Sure. It's really boring in my room."

We went to the elevator and went to his floor. I walked beside him as he rolled himself through the halls. We passed the nurses station. This is apparently where Nurse Jackson and Nurse Kenji are stationed. Nurse Kenji was staring at us as we walked. We went into a room where the indoor window had lots of cool stickers. He had posters everywhere. I was in love with his decorative room. There were two beds in his room. "Who sleeps here?" I asked him. "Oh, nobody. I actually have a room to myself. That's just an extra bed. Do you have a roommate?"

"No I have my own room. Except there's no extra bed in there." We hung out in his room for a while. A nurse came in and gave him some medicine about 2:00 in the afternoon. The nurse said I would have to leave at 4:00. Leo pulled out some cookies and started eating them. I was just walking around his room looking at his posters and other decor. I looked at him because he was chewing so loudly. He said he was sorry and he put the cookies away.

We watched some tv and laughed and talked about our old schools and old friends. He told me how he used to play soccer. It was time for me to go. I went to my room. I had half of a sandwich and some apple slices. I recorded the calorie intake. It was 9:00 and I knew for sure nobody was coming to see me today. Again. With that sadness, I went to sleep.

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I woke up and there was food by my bed. It was fruit and toast. I sat up I had some fruit and ate some toast. But I didn't want anything else. I wrote down my calories so far for the day. I stood up and went to the nurses station with the weight scale. I didn't have to go to the downstairs scale except on Wednesdays to check my BMI. I stood on the scale backwards and they took my weight and temperature. I went back to my room and put on an outfit for the day. I went to see Leo. We hung out again all day. There was seriously never a time where we didn't have anything to say or where we weren't smiling at each. He told me about his red bands on his wrist. We talked about past relationships and we were really bummed out for a second. Leo sat up. "Why don't we get together? I mean, we could hang out together like this everyday." I smiled and looked down. I didn't know what to say. "Emma, I think you're super beautiful and I really, really am interested in you. Please do me the incredible honor of being my girlfriend?" I looked at him. And with that, I could do nothing but say yes. After that I sat in his bed and watched tv with him for a while until the nurse came in and said it was time for me to go. Me and him exchanged phone numbers before I left.

I had to eat potatoes and corn tonight with an 8oz can of sprite. I fell asleep about 9:30. I was genuinely happy in that moment.

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I woke up at my normal time. I got my weighing done. I put on a white fuzzy long sleeve and some red jeans. Leo texted me and said to meet him. I went to where he was and passed by the window and he was sitting at a small table trying on hats. He told me how his sister gave him the hats and how he thought this round black one actually once belonged to his sister. I took it and put it on. I told him he had a nice head and that he didn't need a hat. "It looks way better on you." He said. I smiled. The rest of the day went by swiftly. I was feeling good. I talked about Leo in therapy. Still not a single one of my family members came by, so I mentioned that too. My life was changing. I was feeling like a normal teenager again.