Blind Carnival

All Mouth and No Trousers

By the way, after she peed, she peeked in the medicine cabinet above his sink. Let's face it, there was still a chance that she'd done the daftest thing in her life, and this night would end poorly for her. She didn't find anything special: dental floss, a half-empty jar of hair product, one tube of hardly touched hand cream, a bottle of Davidoff Adventure, which she smelled on him before, and a box of condoms. It wasn't open and it'll expire next Christmas. So either he's that thorough in creating his persona, or his story checks out.

She ripped the box and shoved a condom into the pocket of her dress. And then added two more.

***

She's deepening the kiss, opening his lips with her tongue, and he reciprocates. And then he moves away and gasps for some air.

"Protection?"

His voice's strangled, just as it would be in one of her books. He's already holding a Durex in his hand. She gives him a questioning look.

"I've kept it in my wallet for the past five months," he says with a chuckle.

The rates of condom failure pop in her head. She takes it from his hand and throws it behind the sofa - and takes one out from her dress.

"Possible integrity issues due to the material fatigue," she murmurs and gently bites the side of his neck.

He laughs.

She leans back and slides her hand into his pants. How does he even fit in them? The answer is, he doesn't. As soon as she encircles the base with her fingers, the member rejoices. Literally. It jumps to life and out of the confinement of his underwear. Was it coiled there before like a snail?

In the books she'd say that he moans raspily but it sounds more like 'grrrrbuh' in reality. She moves off him and slides on the floor between his knees. He lifts his head and stares at her. Due to her eidetic memory for colours, she can attest that his eyes are Air Superiority Blue. They're wide open, pupils dilated. She holds the condom package between her teeth, just the very corner, not to puncture the content - she's seen the educational video online - and then she grabs the waist of his trousers and pants. He lifts his hips. She moves them just a bit lower so that she can reach his cock, but not enough to make him close his knees.

And then she changes her mind and pushes the condom back in her pocket.

She takes him - which is a polite way to say his cock - in her hand and lowers her mouth on him. Another set of meaningless consonants bursts out of him; and she pushes her lips along his length all the way down.

She's never actually liked that before. It didn't bother her with Allan, but she can't say she ever offered if he wasn't asking. Considering it was a much easier task with him. Pretty much she had to handle a Kirby, and this one is an English. And yes, she does know cucumbers - and yes, obviously from the past book research. The protagonist in that novel was a farmer; and the heroine with a heaving chest was a spoilt heiress, who accidentally bought his land. Blah-blah-blah, lots of steamy shag in a hothouse. All puns intended.

Right now she feels she might orgasm from the feeling of his cock sliding through her lips. She thinks momentarily that the next time she wants to wear red lipstick to see the traces of her efforts on him, following all possible horrific clichés of poor quality erotica novels. Then she fleetingly questions her mental health. Next time? Lipstick? She doesn't even like red lipstick. It looks like ketchup to her.

She moans and doubles her efforts.

Firstly, she always does her research. She watches educational videos, reads books, and she has a whole room for supplies and equipment. When possible, most of them have been tested. Obviously, she's had no man to use as a guinea pig and shag six ways to Saturday, but she has studied all the available tools. Again with the puns, Olivia? Of course it has given her only a limited understanding, but she can always write around the voids.