The home of the lost

The fall into the abyss

It was 2012 when I met my closest friend in one of the most stupid of accidental circumstances. It was our 2nd year of studying at St Angela Mericii's and our first school dance of the year. I had been helping set up the majority of the day blowing up balloons and setting the tables when it was finally time for me to go and get ready myself. However, I arrived back at my room to find my dress ruined by paint thanks to my three roommates.

I stared at it for a long moment before picking it up and throwing it in the trash angrily turning to my wardrobe and collecting a pair of plain black trousers and a red loose over-top. I quickly wash and change simply braiding my hair and applying mascara, but didn't move from my desk. "why did they have to ruin my night again?" I whispered to my reflection tears welling up in my eyes but I quickly blinked them away getting up and brushing off my top. I slowly made my way back down the empty corridors to the large hall where we were hosting the dance, slowing as I came up to the last corner hearing voices arguing behind the wall.
I stopped and listened carefully hearing a muffled humph and a soft thump, deciding it wasn't anything important I cleared my throat and rounded the corner. There stood Jayden, even at 13 he was intimidating to others, but no physical reasons to be sure he was tall roughly 5'6ft but he didn't have a build to him he was a bit of a bean pole. The only reason to be intimidated by him was the aura of trouble and anger rolling off him almost constantly.

"sorry just heading inside" I smiled slightly my hands in my trouser pockets while I walked past nearly reaching the door when he spoke up behind me.
"wait..." He eyed me like a rabbit about to run, he turned his head looking to the boy who had been with him but now pressing himself against the wall "move it" he nodded his head to the door and the boy quickly scrambled to the door pushing me out the way on his path out of there.
"Is something wrong?" I asked trying to keep my voice even, hiding the feeling of fear that was clawing at my chest. I moved my hands out my pockets and crossed my arms feeling less open to the situation.
"you're not wearing a dress all the girls are, but you," He says very pointedly making me shrug under his gaze.
"I didn't feel comfortable in a dress" I half lied, truthfully if I wasn't being forced to wear a dress I would've worn what I was currently wearing either way.
He chuckled shaking his head leaning against the wall "you mean it has nothing to do with the girls giggling about a pot of paint earlier?" he tilted his head either waiting for me to start crying or for me to get angry whichever came first.
I shook my head keeping a neutral smile on my face "no, can't say I've seen any paint around here today" I let my arms fall to my sides "but I hope whatever they had planned for it they had fun. Now excuse me there's a dance taking place" I turned on my heel and grabbed the door leaving the echoing hall behind me.

The rest of that night happened in a blur the girls I shared a room with ignored me and I enjoyed the dance as much as I could with just my best friend to keep me company. It was hard to survive at St Angela's for a few reasons partly because you were there from the ages of 11-19 as well as it being a full-time boarding school for children who have been orphaned, some of us still had family we could live with during the holidays, others like myself had no family at all but showed impressive skills in a subject area and got sponsored to be there. However, there was a third category of people here and those were here by force of parents or the state. I bet you can guess who fell under the third category...

After that night I kept bumping into Jayden too much for either of our likings, that was till Christmas came around. Christmas for those of us in category 2 or 3 meant we stayed in the school and did a homemade gift secret Santa, the girls who roomed with me were part of the first group and went home for every holiday leaving me alone for 2 months.
Most of my time during this period was spent in the library reading or just simply relaxing with my headphones as I looked out across the fields. Throughout that whole time, Jayden had practically disappeared and I found it uncomfortable as I was now used to seeing him everywhere. On the 12th of December while everyone was gathered for dinner the principal came to the front of the room smiling to the groups of chatting students before speaking through the microphone "Good evening everyone, as you know our tradition here at Christmas is our secret Santa's with handmade gifts. if you could separate into your year groups and leave your name with the head of your year" He stepped back allowing us to organise ourselves.
I was the first one to reach our head of year Miss Scott giving her my name and sitting back down at the table closest to her station, it was then that I noticed that Jayden was at the back with a small group of friend all giving her their names and regrouping to the side.

When everyone had finished and given the teachers some time to fold the names and put them in a bag we all lined up to pick a name. I was in the middle of the line grabbing a name putting it in my jean pocket and going back to the table my head lowering as I continued to read my latest book by from the library.
"thank you all for working swiftly, you'll now have the 12 days of Christmas to work on your gift and can leave it under the tree in the commons of your house block Christmas eve or give it to them personally if you feel comfortable. You can leave for downtime when you are ready curfew is 10 pm for 4th years and up 9 pm for 3rd years and below" He dismissed us all and left to sit at the teacher's dinner table.
I stayed where I was reading for a while longer before going back to my dorm room, it was only when I was getting changed that remembered the slip of paper in my pocket with the name of my secret Santa on. I sat on the edge of my bed unfolding it with a frown "who is that?" I sighed, it said Frankie, I knew he was someone in Jayden's friend group but not a clue which one or what I could make.