Alone now

Chapter 3

Shotos house was getting messier by the day. If there were bugs in there he wouldn't be surprised because the place was completely dirty with no one cleaning it. It always used to be Katsuki who cleaned it but Shoto wasn't going to do shit now.

Shoto walks into the kitchen and looks around for a little. He stands there doing absolutely nothing for a good five minutes before he started to look around again. He walked to the TV to see something faced down. When he goes to it and faces it up, he sees something that he may wish he hadn't.

The thing he faced up was a picture of his and Katsukis wedding. They were so happy that day and it was the best day of their lives. Shoto stares at it while the memories of that day was coming back to him. It almost made him feel happy inside before he came back to the realization that it was over. He wasn't going to see Katsuki again. He wasn't ever going to get to see his smile in front of him again. It was over and everyone knew that.

Shotos legs started to shake before he falls to the ground and tears began to fill his eyes. His hands shook while he gripped on the picture in his hands. "Come back...." he whispered while he stared at it and the tears fell over the glass. It went over Katsuki on the picture. And his mind began to play tricks on him to make him think that Katsuki was being washed away in the picture.

"No!!" He shouts and blinks as he looks closer to the picture. He once again saw that Katsuki was there and nothing changed in the picture. The only sound that could be heard in the room was Shotos panting and his shaking was so violent. But he slowly calmed down for the moment and put the picture back to where it originally was, faced down. He takes a deep breath and begins to stand up. His legs tried to fail him but he pushed himself anyways and walked out from the living room to the kitchen.

He stands by the kitchen entrance and looks around in the empty room. But then his eyes caught sight into something. He sees Katsuki standing at where he always stood when he would chop some stuff. "Ka....Katsuki?..." Shoto whispers with his eyes widening. Katsuki turns around to look at Shoto and have him one of his smiles that could brighten his day.

Shotos eyes were filling with tears once again and he ran to Katsukis with his arms wide. He quickly tries to hug him before he could go anywhere but the second he'd done that, no one was there anymore.

Shoto pants when he looks down to nothing and the tears were falling like a waterfall once again. He started to cry with his teeth gritted and put his hands over his face. "Stop leaving me..." he cried while pulling down on his skin.

"But you made me leave." A voice that sounded so familiar said. Shoto quickly turned to see Katsuki once again there instead he was now sitting on the table. He heard him sigh while Shoto had stopped crying for that moment to hear him.

"Please....please don't....what?" Shoto began to beg before questioning at the last part. What did Katsuki mean when he said he was the one who made him leave? What did Shoto do?

"Seriously? You're still that closed up. Come on Sho. You could have saved me. Why didn't you do that triple back flip when you could have? That could have made the villain step forward and I would have gotten him from behind. Or why didn't you done the double attack with me? Why didn't you move me away when you saw the blade coming? You could've done so much to save me" Katsukis voice was saying. He was beginning to stand up while he spoke. Shotos eyes were widening when he heard Katsuki saying this. He was right, there was so much he could have done to save him, so why didn't he? Shoto felt his breathe quickening and he held onto the counter with widened eyes. He closed his eyes but the thoughts wasn't stopping, it only made things worse.

"You could have done another attack"
"You could have stepped in"
"Now I'm gone and you're never getting me back."
"Why didn't you stop it??
"Who's going to take care of the kids now?!"
"It's all your fault you know?!!"
"I should have lived! I would have been better!!"
"We made that promise and you're the reason it broke!!"
"WHY DIDNT YOU SAVE ME BACK THERE!!"

Voices were everywhere in Shotos head and each time it got louder and more demonic sounding. Shoto gripped on his hair and began to scream at the top of his lungs to try and block out all the voices in his head. He shakes his head violently while looking around anxiously to see if Katsuki was there.

Shoto was the only one there now, but he won't be for long and he knows those voices will come back. Shoto looks down on the counter he was gripping on and saw the knife there. His shaky hands grab it and stared at it. His reflection was the only thing he could see for that moment. He could do this and it will all be over on a split second. It could all end and he could go back to Katsuki. The moment Shoto blinked, he saw another reflection besides him. The bloody and dead look on Katsukis face was there making Shoto scream and turn around to see nothing.

Shoto backed into the counter while still holding the knife. He looks around and made sure nothing was there before he looks back at the knife. He grips on it before putting it up to his neck. He screams before trying to push it across his neck. But his hand was so shaky and he felt like something was preventing him from doing so.

"Take care of the kids." Played in Shotos mind making his eyes open wide. He looked around but no one was there like it was earlier.
"They need you most now. You have to live for me. For the both of us."

Shoto began to scream once more while crying. Why were these voices telling him to live now? Doesn't Katsuki want him?? Were his kids just preventing him from letting him die? Shotos hands shakes more than before.

He needed to cut something though, anything, before his neck is what will be cut. Shoto grabbed a chunk of his hair with his other hand and slashed it down as hard as he could. A bunch of white and red fell onto the ground while he still gripped some. The knife had almost stabbed Shotos leg but it missed by inches.

Shotos cries were mixed with screams. His voice was getting worse by the day and he was only making it worse. It was beginning to crack like a broken record. Shoto drops his chunk of hair and threw the knife across the room which stabbed on the wall.

And he was left there all night. Crying and screaming to himself until there was no voice left. And even after that, he would still cry silently until he'd fallen asleep. His night wasn't an escape either, it was an endless nightmares of what happened the other day which plays over and over again. Sometimes it would even play in a fast record over and over. What Shoto knew tho, was that this pain will be endless, and it was truly the end of him seeing Katsuki again.