Gay And Christian

Being Gay and Christian

Hey everyone, i hope you are all fine. As you see on the headline, now I'm gonna talk about Being gay and christian.

First it seems important for me to reveal the way people say that an homosexual can't be a christian or being homosexual is evil. OK, right now, I'm telling you my own experience...

Since my childhood, my parents and I went to church on every Sunday, so i early knew God and Christianity was to me the best way and this is still now; i even got a christian book to learn knowing God better. At that moment, i didn't even know anything about sexuality, but i just knew i liked guys, i kept playing with my dolls, and i wore on my mother's heels and clothes which were too large and big for me, and didn't care about what people could say, although they were insulting me and judging me, treating me like the devil. I knew that i was different, but i thought or expected that people around me would understand and love me as i was, i was even gone to believe that they were there for me no mater what as i was often said in TV or at school,- seriously, those people just wanted and tried to turn me off-...

Arrived to adolescence, i understood who i really was, i understood that i was gay and i hated myself because of this. In fact, i heard evil advices form my entourage and i thought and wanted to be integrated, i wanted to be like the others, at least i didn't want people to hate me again. -Until now, i can't get why people are so wicked and they are more wicked towards those different from them, those like me for example-. More and more, i felt the eyes of those around me, and i was overwhelmed by what i frequently got at school about homosexuality and the fact that God hates them and they are cursed and against nature. They said I was the devil before I even knew who I really was, so i early got that it was better for me to say nothing about my sexual orientation to anyone. At those moments, God and i were enemies, at least that was what i wanted to believe.

Sometimes I did research on internet and most of the time I found organizations saying that it was never too late for people like me to repent because God loves us and can forgive us; -yes in fact, they treat us like ill people, as if homosexuality was a disease.- Then I tried to ignore my preference for guys and no longer believed in God saying God didn't love me and people like me, he never loved me and i didn't understand why, why i was like this, why me? Seriously, people can really be mean to those who are not like 'em.

The hardest was when i started to ignore who i am to please others. I laughed on gay people, i said to everybody: "I hate homosexual people, and according to me, they didn't deserve life, the are cursed". In fact, i said what others wanted me to say. I knew that by saying those bad things, they would leave me alone, and i could finally be in peace. However, i was never in peace, i always felt the look of others upon me, i always tried to care of everything i did for they didn't demean me anymore. I was seriously lost and i didn't really know who i was again.

What the fuck! i was seriously foolish because despite everything i did to please them, it was never enough, and they kept humiliating me whenever they could. They always found an occasion to remind me that I'm evil, cursed and I am poorly educated because of my mother. According to those wicked people around me, I'm the kid who wouldn't have to born, I'm just an error and my mom is the responsible. Seriously, they also tried to make me hate my mother to have give me birth. Fortunately, i couldn't hate my mom because she was the only person to really and seriously love even though she didn't know my secret.

Finally, thanks to the advices found on some sites by those who have lived the same thing, I tried to be better than what people wanted me to be. It is also right that more and more, i started ignoring what people could say of me although I was always afraid, I was afraid that one day, people might discover my terrible secret; finally, terrible for them.

Truly, we haven't to bear people's insults, we got rights like them and we are humans like them; so we should not let them shake us, if they felt bad by our side, well, let them move, that's all. Now, I finally realized that I had not to change because God loves me as i am.

OK, right now, thank you to all of you readers and tell me if this story is similar to the one you lived or you are currently experiencing in the comments...