Purgatory (Luke Hemmings)

0.14

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! What the fuck were your parents thinking? They've lost their goddamn minds!" Luke yelled at me later that evening.

"What do you want me to do about? I can't make him go away, even if I wanted to." I could hear Ashton and Michael laughing at what they were watching on TV. I was glad that Mikey had found the brother he never had, but this was too awkward for me, especially with Luke yelling every 10 seconds. I felt like I couldn't breathe, almost.

"Oh, so you want him to stay? Do you have a pathetic little school girl cruch on this fucker now? I've got a newsflash for you, sweetheart: He doesn't care about you. He'll never love you like I do. So stop lying to yourself." He folded his arms and leaned against the wall opposite of me and I felt tears prick my eyes. I tried to blink them back. He didn't need to see me cry, he'd think I was weak and annoying. I hated crying in front of Luke, even when he was alive.

"Why do you hate him so much? He hasn't done a thing to you, stop acting like a such an asshole!" I whisper-yelled to Luke. I wiped the unfallen tears out of my eyes when he wasn't looking, my sadness replaced with a sudden splash of anger.

"I don't like the way he looks at you," he muttered back through clenched teeth, looking down at his feet.

I frowned. "You know what?" I almost yelled at him. " Ashton is so much nicer and more considerate than you, at least he doesn't fucking swear at me and make me feel so small and just ugly."

Luke's head snapped up at me and he stood in front of me, his eyes were an cold shade of blue and his stare was even colder. Before I could even make sense of how tense he was, his hand flew up and slapped me across the face.

I cursed myself for the tears stinging my eyes for the second time that day, not because it hurt like hell, but just how it felt emotionally. He hit me. The one who was never supposed to hurt me... Actually hit me.

"I don't know who you are anymore." I told him quietly, shaking my head. He stood in front of me frozen, his mouth a little open and looking down at his hand in shock.

"I- I'm so, oh my God, Mere, I am so sorry, I-I didn't me-mean t-t-to do it," he stuttered, his cheeks flustered.

"You're a monster," I said, not bothering to dry away the tears I felt flowing freely down my face. I loved him. I loved his hair, his smile, his eyes. I loved his broad shoulders, how awakardly long his legs were, how his eyes glistened when he laughed.

I loved the boy who would tickled me early in the morning to wake me up, the boy who used to tell me everything would be fine when I cried, I even loved the boy who brought me cocaine and vodka instead of flowers and chocolate because he already blew all his money on drugs and alcohol.

But the boy I saw? The boy who felt cold and more and more distant as the nights grew longer and the days grew darker? I hated him. I hated the Luke who yelled at me, the Luke who no longer kissed me softly or held me close when there was a thunderstorm, just because he knew I was scared of the noise. I hated the boy who stared at me like I was an insect. And above all, I hated the boy that had just slapped me across my face. I was scared of this boy. I didn't know him anymore. He was like a stranger to me.

"Meredith, I am so sorry, I should have never done that, I can't believe I just did that, I love you so much, I'm sorry, I am so unbelievably sorry-"

"I know you are, I-I just-I just can't be near you right now, I have to go," I pushed him away from me and grabbed my jacket, heading towards the door.

"Baby, wait, come back, I said I'm sorry-" Luke started after me, grabbing my hand.

I shook him off of me. "I know you are," I repeated, "Don't chase after me, I just need to get away from here for a little while. Please? Just f-for a little while, I'll be back, I promise," I stuttered. I was scared to look him in the eye, but he let me go.

"Hey, Mereidth, where are you going? Hey, come back! I'm might lose my new job if you leave!" Ashton called after me as him and Michael watched me practically sprint through the front door.

"Let her go, maybe she'll come back with beer!" Michael grinned.

"What the fuck, you're both underaged, why're you-" I heard Ashton start before I shut the front door behind me and jumping into my car. I turned the radio on nice and loud and back out of the drive-way faster than I should have, and just drove. I didn't know where I was going, but anywhere was better than there.

-

Maybe I deserved it, I thought to myself as I drove down the long, dark highway. I shouldn't have said anything to him. It was my fault.

No. It couldn't have been. He never hit me before, alive or dead.

Before long, I found myself at the beach, and just sat in my parking spot for a while before getting out the car. I opened up my glove compartment just because I got a little bored and gasped in shock at what I found.

It was mine and Luke's photo album. I grinned at it and pulled it out, taking it to the shore with me. I grabbed a blanket out the trunk of my car and found a nice secluded spot on the sand, looking at all of our old pictures as the sun went down.

I chuckled when I saw my favorite. It was from about a week or two before he died. Michael had thrown Luke a surprise birthday party in our parent's basement and it was my job to lead him down there for his party. I was grinning from eear to ear, holding Luke's hand, wearing the dress I knew he loved to see me in, and a long sleeved dress that stopped just before the knees. I wore the same dress to his funeral.

Michael took the picture just as all of our old friend jumped out and shouted "Surprise!" and Luke was absolutely pissed. He hated surprises. His brow was furrowed and there was a deep frown on his face, and the red eye that came out on certainly didn't make him look any happier.

"I fucking hate you, Mikey!" Luke had shouted at him before Michael gave him a hug and ruffled his hair. I smiled at the memory.

"Wish I would've hugged Michael longer that night. Last time I ever hugged him." Luke said bsiede me. I was so scared I almost screamed, and my hands shook a little.

"You scared the shit out of me! Did I not tell you not to follow me?" I frowned at the boy who smirked down at me.

His smile faded a little. "I'm sorry-"

"And stop apologizing, it's getting annoying."

"Fine. And I know, yeah, you did, but I couldn't help it, I feel empty without you around." He shrugged. I sighed. He laid down beside me and buried his head in my chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I shouldn't have hit you like that, I wish I hadn't done it ever, I fell so shitty about it, I am so-"

"I know. It's okay. You're okay, we're okay," I told him. I didn't really realize he was crying until I felt his shoulders shake. It was then that I knew he was just as sad as I was, I guess you could say. Even though that still didn't make either of us feel any better about ourselves.

-

Hey guys. This was a v v v emotional chapter, people was cryin' every whicha way. gUYS, GUESS WHAT? I MAY OR MAY NOT BE GOING TO WARPED TOUR. My mom and big sis are coming with if I do, so I can't swipe my v-card with a random hottie in a port-a-potty cause I WANTED TO.

And guys, this is random but I wanna meet Kellin Quinn sooooo badly, I'm gonna cry if I dont, he's such an angel, I just wanna hug him and take a selfie with him aND FUCK HIM SILLY AND HAVE LIL MINITURE MULATO KELLIN QUINN'S AND MARRY HIM AND SHIT (I said mulato cause I'm black LOLLLLL, I'm bored, I'm sorry, lemme stop.)

UPDATES FOR SEX ADDICT, LUCIFER, 1867, THE MISTRESS AND STAY ARE UP NOOOOW!