Chapter One

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If the comfort of someone's arms could be the place you stay forever, I would've kept myself locked into my dad's arms. 

Three years ago my father died of leukemia. I remember going to visit him in the hospital and he was so weak he could barely even talk to us. I think it hit my mother the worst. Since he passed all she does is take her medicine, drink, and sleep. She's left me to take care of my two younger siblings, Ivy and Marcus. 

I was 13 when my father passed away. It affected me deeply since he was the only one who paid attention to me. After my mom had my brother and sister she forgot all about me. Pushed me to the side, ridiculed me, always was on my ass about things I couldn't even control. I don't know what drove her to be this way with me, but I just wish she'd realized I'm still her kid and I still need her. 

Although I would love to have my mom treat me like her daughter, I know she never will and I've come to peace with that. There's nothing I could do to fix it. No matter what my grades are, no matter how hard I work, it'll never be good enough. 

"Ivy! Give it back!" snapped out of my thoughts by Marcus yelling, I jumped off my full size bed and ran to their room. "What is going on? Why are you yelling when you know mom is in the next room sleeping?" I cocked an eyebrow at them both. In Ivy's hand was the Nintendo switch I bought them for Christmas last year. Santa gift. 

"I had the switch first and Ivy just came and ripped it out of my hand," He glared at her.

"That is not true. He lost and it was my turn! Marcus never shares anything with me," She threw her arms over her chest and started pouting. 

"Both of you knock it off or I'll take it away and you guys can play with something else. Learn to share or don't play with it at all," I tried being as stern as possible, but they're still my siblings and I don't want them to hate me. 

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I reached inside my pocket for my iPhone 7. I clicked answer and said hello. 

"Hey Lani! Are you still working tonight? I can be over before 4:30," on the phone was my best friend and babysitter, Anthony. 

"Yes. My shift is from 7:30 to 11. Is that okay with you?" Anthony had been my best friend for 7 years now.  He was there for me the most when my dad passed. Him and I were polar opposites though. He was quarterback and I was sober sally. I think he befriended me out of pity, but it's been too long to start complaining now. 

"Of course! I'll be over soon and we can hangout before you go. Need anything?" He was always so nice and thoughtful towards me. I really don't know why he chose me as a friend, but I am grateful. 

"A bag of chips please, kind sir," I said before hanging up the phone. 

I looked around my small room and noticed a few things out of place. My mom had been going through here again. She's convinced I've been doing drugs since my dad died. She swears up and down I'm "too happy" since my father passed and she wants whatever I'm on. 

I keep myself occupied to not think of the night we lost my dad. It was the worst night of my life and the image is burned into my head. I hate it, but what can you do? I refuse to let it consume me as it did to my mother. 

I decided to pick up and fix things around before Anthony arrived. I turned on my Spotify and got to cleaning the smallest room in the house. I grabbed all the trash and ran downstairs to throw it away. 

"Open," Anthony was at the back door with snacks in his hand. I walked over to the slider opening it slowly so it wasn't as loud. I put my finger to my mouth signaling for him to be quiet. He nodded not even questioning because he already knew. 

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