Drown - (Seo Changbin Short Story)

Not Today

I still remember how it exactly felt; drowning in hopelessness, gasping for air, screaming my lungs out, hoping that someone would hear me and pull my body. But then I realised, those who heard my voice decided to walk away and let me drown. Some of them even smiled. In other words, I was helpless and on my own.

I started to give up, letting the demons win. I'm tired anyway.  

----

That one starless night in autumn, A girl with a thin black coat stepped out of her apartment, letting her feet walk to the same destination that she has been visiting almost every single night in the past year. She kept walking for about an hour, until she saw the beach. She took off her shoes and sit on the sea-side. She was just there, staring blankly at the sea, letting the cold sea breeze touched her face. She took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket, stared at it for a second and put one cig in between her lips. 

She had to struggle to lit the cig because of the breeze. "Fuck," she sighed. Then suddenly, a palm of a hand appeared just a few centimeters in front of her face. She jumped a bit and let out a small gasp, whilst the hand owner just giggled.

"The fuc-, uh, excuse you?!" she half-yelled at the man who stood beside her. He didn't answer, and just pointed the cigarette with his eyes but the girl did not get what he meant. "Uh...can I help you?" asked the girl again with a puzzled look. 

"No, I'm here to help YOU," the brown-haired man answered. He squatted in front of the girl, rolled his eyes and took the girl's lighter. The girl finally understood and put her cigarette back in between her lips, whilst facing the man. Their hands covered the lighter from the wind and she was finally able to light her cig. The man was still there staring at the girl as she smoked her cigarette. "Uh...thanks?"

"You're welcome," said the man as he sat beside the girl which led to another puzzled look.

"What are you doing here?" asked the man.

"Excuse you, but what are YOU doing HERE?" the girl asked him back, still with a puzzled look, as she pointed at the man. 

The man just let out another giggle, "no need to be rude, miss. I was just chillin' there," he pointed at another side of the sea-side, "but then I saw someone is struggling lighting a cig so I came to help," he added.

"Oh okay. Thanks for helping, but I'm sorry, I really want to be alone right now. So you can go back to your chilling spot again, please." 

"What's your name? By the way, I'm Bin. Changbin," the man offered a handshake, slightly smiling. 

"Nice to meet you, Changbin. I'm just some random person passing by so you won't need to know my name anyway," the girl said as she shook his hand with an annoyed look, hesitated to tell him her name.

"Nah, I need to know your name," Changbin insisted, "I need to know the name of a girl who just saved my life tonight," he added, still holding on the girl's hand.

"Sorry but, what kind of nonsense you are talking about?" 

"You just saved my life. And I just want to know your name, is it too much to ask?" 

"Eh? I saved your life?" Bin nodded responded to her question, "I can't even save my life let alone saving others," she mumbled quitely, but Bin was able to hear that anyway.

"What do you mean you can't save your life?"

"Nothing. Forget it," she rolled her eyes.

"Alright, alright. So..." Changbin paused for a second, "your name?"

The girl sighed, "ugh fine. Eleanor, Elle. Now please let go of my hand, stranger."

"It's Changbin, you can call me Bin for short," Changbin said as he let go of Elle's hand. 

"Whatevs," Elle said as she stubbed out her cig and got up to leave.

"You're leaving already, Elle?" asked Changbin. Elle nodded, "see you later then."

"Yeah, bye Bin, see you NEVER," Elle responded as she walked out to leave without looking back. After a few steps, she gasped as she felt her head was covered by a jacket that was thrown on her. "What the fuck," she cursed at Changbin who stood a meter behind her. 

"Just wear that and give it back to me when we meet again here," he paused, "but you can also keep it. Night, Elle." Changbin said as he walked to the opposite side from Elle and waved. 

"Yo what the hell??????" Elle yelled, "freaking weirdo," she mumbled to herself.

As soon as she reached her apartment, she sat down at her room, staring blankly at the mirror. "Not today, huh?" Elle mumbled, "Sorry, seems like we will have to face another day," she said to her reflection in the mirror, then walked to her bed.

----

Changbin took his whisky glasses, put in some ice, and poured the whisky into it. He looked at the glass for a bit, before taking a one shot, letting the burning sensation filled his throat. 

"I guess not today, huh?" he said as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.