Drown - (Seo Changbin Short Story)

Another Chance

If you were given another chance, would you take it or waste it away?

---

Changbin has been sitting in the same spot for about 2 hours, contemplating his life whilst staring blankly at the sea with his hopeless eyes. It was dark, the sky was starless just like his eyes, and there's only a small amount of the moonlight. His eyes and cheeks were wet from crying silently. It felt like there was a big hole inside his chest, like a hollow space where all his hopes sunk in.

Seo Changbin, a man in his early 20s who got all the things that he needs in life. At least, that's what people think. In such a young age, rather than working to earn more money or worrying about how much he had already, he was able to spend his life the way he wants. Life might give him thousands of problems but for Changbin, money wasn't one of it. He got a nice house, nice cars, hundreds of designer brands stuffs--from clothes to shoes. All of this, he earned it himself. His parents died in a car crash years ago when he was only 7. He used to live with his grandma, until she passed away when Bin was only 18. He was forced to survive this life alone, and up until now, he still lives alone. He kept himself busy with working and studying, to avoid himself being drowned in a sea of sadness. However, wealth could not fill his hollowness, apparently. 

"I miss you, mum," he mumbled. It has been 14 years since the tragic accident took his parents' life, but he still remembered precisely everything that happened at that time. He was sleeping when his grandma received a call from a hospital, then everything went really chaotic. His grandma cried hysterically, waking little Bin up. He ran towards the old lady and hugged her, asking why she was crying but she did not answer. Tears rolled down his cheeks when his grandma explained everything carefully on their way to the hospital. He also remember the day after the funeral, where he locked himself in his room for days, crying himself to sleep every single day. 

"I should have been there...in the car...with mum and dad. I should have been there. I should have been...." he continued to cry, just like every other night. Yes, Changbin has been spending his night in this beach every day, for years. Crying silently in a dark corner near a big rock, that no one can see him. 

Little did he know, on the other side of the seaside, there was always a girl who did the same thing as him. Crying silently every single night, staring blankly at the sea. Changbin never get to see her, he was always too busy with his own sea of sorrow, so he never noticed anyone that came to the beach. Until today, the day he has been waiting for. He lost all his hopes and he was too tired to continue facing another day. Fourteen years of living with fake smiles and pretended that everything was fine, years of keeping himself busy. Fourteen years of his battle with the demons inside his head will finally come to an end--he thought. 

"See you soon, mum, dad," his lips formed a crooked smile as he stood up, ready to merge himself with the sea, letting the demons win. But then he saw a girl, with a cigarette in between her lips, struggling to light it up. For some unknown reason, Changbin's feet decided to lead him towards the girl. 

"The fuc-, uh, excuse you?!" she half-yelled at Changbin, who stood beside her.

----  

It was a rainy night, a week after Changbin met the girl who saved his life, Elle. He's been visiting this beach each night, only to wait for nothing. She could not be find anywhere. He didn't know why he was waiting for Elle, someone that he had just met once. No, he was not waiting for her to return his jacket, he didn't even care if she keeps it anyway. He tried not to care but for some reason, the voice inside Changbin's head kept telling him to look for this girl.

It was almost 3 AM in the morning, the night was getting colder and Changbin was about to head back to his place, until he saw a pair of black jacket that looked familiar to him right in front of his face.

"Elle?" Changbin gasped, seeing a girl that he has been waiting for suddenly appeared in front of him, handing him his jacket.

"Thanks, for the jacket," Elle said as she walked past Changbin but stopped as soon as she felt her pink coat got pulled.

"Wait, where are you going?" Changbin asked, still holding on to Elle's coat.

"None of your business," Elle replied coldly.

"I've been waiting for you for a week."

"Nobody asked. I only came here to return your jacket," Elle said as she pointed at the jacket, "I was about to leave it here but then I saw you, now that you have your jacket back, please let go of my hand and stop bothering me."

"Wow, I have never met someone as rude as you," Changbin chuckled. Elle rolled her eyes, clearly not amused by Changbin's words.

"Now listen here, random guy--" "It's Changbin," Elle sighed as Changbin cut her sentence, "ugh, okay, listen Seo Changbin--"

"Oh? I don't remember telling you my last name, though?" Changbin smirked.

"I---found your business card in your jacket, now would you please stop cutting my words, young man?" Elle almost yelled at Changbin, "We don't know each other. You came out of nowhere to suddenly helped me lighting my cig--I mean thanks for that--but still, what the fuck do you want from me, seriously?"

"I want to pay you back...for saving my life," Changbin answered lightly.

"Care to explain? You keep saying that I saved your life but that's nonsense, I don't even know you so how the fuck did I save your life?!" 

"I promise I'll tell you, one day. Just...I don't even know why am I like this," Changbin looked down, "but I think now it's my turn to save yours, Elle. Don't ask me why, it's just...I have to."

"There's no 'one day', Bin. Just explain to me NOW or simply fuck off," 

"That day, you said you can't save your life. So let me do that. At least, let me try," Changbin said as his brown eyes pierced to Elle's, intensively--which for some reason, reddened Elle's cheeks.

"I..uh..I still..I don't understand," Elle stuttered on her words, and she looked away from Changbin. 

"Fine. I'll tell you. Wait for me here, I'll go get some hot coffee first, it's getting cold," Changbin said as he walked, "I'll be quick, don't go anywhere," he then ran into the vending machine near the beach. He put his money inside the machine and bought 2 cans of hot coffee.

"So?" Elle asked as she opened the can that Changbin gave her.

"I know it may sounds strange and embarassing but that night," he sighed, "I was about to...end my life, and for some reason--which I don't know either-- I decided to walk towards you instead, the first time I saw you there," he pointed to the spot where they met for the first time a week ago.

"So..now you understand what I mean, right?" He asked, "also, when you said that you can't save your own life, it hurts somehow. I don't want to sound ignorant but I think we're on the same boat, Elle," he said as he looked at Elle's beautiful, teary eyes.

"Ah...well. I honestly don't know what to say," 

"You don't have to say anything, though. But if you want, you can tell me what happened...or..why were you there?" Changbin asked carefully.

"Thanks, but...I think you know already, the reason I was there. We're on the same boat, you said," Elle looked down as she formed a bitter smile.

"I see. So, now we're both given another chance, eh?" Changbin patted Elle's arm lightly.

"I guess so. What would you do with it?"

"I'd use my chance to make sure that you won't lose yours, Elle."  

---

What if I don't want to take my chance?