Starting Over Chronicles

"What day is it?"

Well, let's see.. the calendar reads Sunday, April 5, 2020. My internal calendar says "Nevruary." That word translates to never getting out of quarantine. That is what month it really is. The minutes turn to hours, the hours turn to overflowing days of "making the best of it." That.. that right there translates to lots of questions. Did the kids eat breakfast and do their schoolwork online for the day? Crap, it's almost lunch time, I guess its beans & hotdogs again. Did I feed the cats? Covid check in for the day, what is my state's numbers. That's all we ever hear about and it's everywhere. How bad do things look today? Well some states got hit really hard today. Turn off the news, browse Facebook. I see Covid, covid, covid. Ok time for a break. I had to get that mental health in check because Covid is everywhere you look and the most talked about thing nowadays. Look at the time, what's for dinner? Did I remember to take meat out of the freezer? What is something I can cook with a little ingredients to cook alot of food? Well, simply put a little of this and a little of that. I would have to say so far, my homemade macaroni and cheese with sauteed mixed peppers and carrots was by far my favorite whoops food. Listen, I know I'm an 80's baby and wasn't around for the Great Depression, but I'm trying here. Staying home to stay safe. I am terrified if I do need to go to the grocery store or pharmacy. It's like you don't frel safe sharing anyone's air space. I'm not terrified of the places per se, but instead the people and the prospect of getting the virus. People don't look scary, but they are. They breathe, cough and sneeze and the monster Covid is lurking around every corner. I wash my hands 1000 times a day it seems and disinfectant frequently touched surfaces at home. I am as careful as I can be and always wear a mask when I leave home. I pray I dont bring this terror home to my kids. My son and daughter. Not everything is scary, some is hairy... like whoa my hair is a mess. I could use a cut, sigh.. someday. You know when the world is "normal again." Not everything is bad with quarantine. Sure I miss my friends and extended family. I am however afforded this time that is standing still to bond with my kids and teach them about life. The brief possibility that time is standing still. I get to spend quality uninterrupted time with them. Laughs when my cats are behaving crazy, or the praise I get from a tasty dinner, or a beautiful painting my daughter makes me. I cherish everything. The good, the bad, with everything in between and then quarantine. I'd say the worst thing I've dealt with so far is telling my sister and nephew they can't come visit upstairs at my house and we had to go to a park. It was hard explaining the remote learning to an 11 year old who doesn't understand why she can't see her friends or father for weeks! Until further notice... Keeping my kids safe is my #1 priority. I'd say one of the best things about quarantine is that my vegetable garden from seeds is doing well. We will have a decent backup food supply (I'm hoping!) I also consider healing from a cervical fusion during this worldwide crisis a major victory. I can do this, and I am doing this. I am thriving & surviving with my children. I am proving my strength to my children so they can learn in crazy times that can be scary, stand tall be brave and do what you need to do. Regardless of what my country's leader says to do, I am following the CDC guidelines to safely outsmart the virus. The 3 of us are home safe. We hardly go anywhere. I do all of the shopping and I assume all of the risk for my household. I pray for health and safety every day. Not just for myself but for friends, family, medical workers, strangers people I have never met. I have seem families torn by Covid deaths and it is just so sad. I know God has greater things for me and he has made me very strong. I don't think it's his wish for me to go out like this. He has an absolute purpose for me so strong I remain. So, on a positive note today is 4 days until my daughter turns 12. I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was holding my 8 pound 12 ounce baby. This will be my 2nd birthday party in quarantine. My son's was the 1st, Happy 17th birthday on March 26th. I made a cake, we ate and laughed. There are gifts and I plan on enjoying my uninterrupted gift of time with my children. For me, that is the biggest gift. Birthday parties with the 3 of us. No friends or family in attendance. It's ok because we will get to visit when the virus is gone.