tbh

5. Its Complicated

"How was school?"

Natalie kicked off her cute $25 ballet flats and sighed. "It was okay, Mom. Nothing really happened."

Nothing worth mentioning anyway, thought Natalie.

She dumped her stylish bag on the couch and threw herself on it, closing her eyes in complete exhaustion.

Her house would probably surprise most of her classmates. It wasn't a mansion, a châteu, a villa or anything near to those.

It was average.

Natalie's family weren't really rich. As a matter of fact, Natalie had entered BHHS via scholarship.

And if anyone knew that, thought Natalie, her lips twisting into a self-deprecating smile, my social life would sink faster than the Titanic.

She fished out her phone from her bag and scrolled down her list of contacts. She wanted to text a former friend about how her day had went, but couldn't seem to find anyone she could easily whine to.

Zach.

She stared at his number and nibbled her lower lip in consternation. He was the only one who could probably understand her, but at the same time, she really didn't want to see him.

I'm sorry, Natalie. You're my bestfriend, nothing more.

Her grip on the cellphone tightened. Unwelcome, Zach's sad voice echoed in her head, reminding her of how foolish she once had been.

But I've moved on, Natalie thought. And to prove it, she dialed Zach's number to call him.

It rang once, then Zach's husky voice answered on the other end.

"Nat?"

She closed her eyes reflexively. She might have moved on from him and her deeper feelings of love, but Natalie could never deny that the physical attraction she had with Zach was still there.

"Zach? Can you come over to my house? I really need someone to talk to right now."

There was a momentary pause.

"Sure thing. Give me ten minutes."

They both hung up at the same time.

Natalie wanted to retouch her make-up and make sure her hair was still behaving, but she reined in the impulse.

You're his bestfriend and nothing more, she reminded herself sternly.

To pass time, she decided to go back to A's blog. She scrolled down some more posts and read the ones that caught her eye.

FML:

I couldn't almost turn anywhere without seeing eyebags, notes and caffeine. Not unusual, since its that time of school year everybody hated and at once loved: Finals. On one hand, it signifies the end of the school year. On the other, it means, ugh, studying. Can you just say c'est la vie?

Spotted: Geek and Groovy doing the deed in one of the janitor closets. Relieving the stress, perhaps?

Overheard: Well, well, well. Someone's cheating, and its not on the exams. Too bad for the school slut, her boyfriend is an even greater whore than she is.

Captured: Looks like someone's getting fat. What are you going to ditch, Ives? The cupcakes or your newly bought baby blue Jimmy Choos?

Underneath was another picture, this time of a girl looking guilty as she came out of a nondescript sweet shop carrying several boxes of what Natalie presumed to be cupcakes.

Kiss kiss, A.

Natalie read the date below. The post was from last year.

"What are you reading?"

Natalie let out a yelp as she jumped in surprise. She glared at Zach, who was grinning.

"None of your business," she said tartly. "Why didn't you let me know you were here anyway?"

His boyish grin disappeared. "I didn't notice it was you at first," he admitted. "You've changed, Nat."

She blinked. It had never came to her that Zach still hadn't seen her as the slim and pretty Natalie.

"Oh," she said. "I never got to tell you. I decided to go on a diet."

"Since when?"

Since you rejected me, she thought, and I decided to change.

Aloud, she said "Last year. It was tough, but I got through it."

"No wonder you changed schools. You'd easily be hailed as the Prom queen if you had ever stayed. I'd have to beat all your boyfriends with a stick."

Natalie smiled back weakly, thinking of her future life in BHHS.

"Do you want to talk in your room?" Zach asked. He rubbed the back of his neck self-conciously. "I feel awkward with your mom here."

"Good afternoon Zach," greeted Natalie's mother with a smile, hearing his last comment.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. White," replied Zach, just as easily. "You look gorgeous as ever."

"Why, thank you. No one ever compliments me anymore."

Natalie gritted her teeth and swatted his arm as she stood up. "Come on, Golden boy. Let's go up."

"It was nice meeting you again, Mrs. White," called Zach as Natalie pushed him up the stairs. She dragged him into her bedroom and locked the door, her movements jerky with supressed anger.

She then whirled to Zach, her green eyes sizzling fire. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"What?" he asked, shrugging innocently. "I wasn't doing anything."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You've always flirted with any girl Zach, never mind their status or their age. Could you at least not do that to my own mother?"

"I wasn't flirting with her!" he protested. "I was only being polite."

"Polite, my ass. Were you just being polite to our English teacher too, right before you fucked her?"

That was a low blow. Zach looked like he had been slapped, his eyes wide with hurt.

"You know I've regretted that ever since," he said in a low voice, anger running like a current underneath. "Why are you bringing it up now, Nat?"

He looked at her for a heartbeat, his jaw clenched. Then he stormed out of her room and slammed the door.

Nat heard his angry footsteps fading away, and then she rushed to her bedroom window and glanced down. Zach was hopping into his bike, his expression a thunderstorm, before he pedaled away.

She sank into her bed, her heart plunging right into her roiling stomach.

Because I'm jealous Zach, she wanted to answer to his earlier question.

I'm so jealous that I'm starting to hate myself.