I saw a guy who was newly freed from jail. The reasons why he got jailed can actually be written in a long list. He was addicted with prohibited drugs, he raped a four-year old little boy, he held a lot of people up for money and stuffs, he killed his brother, and he was a member of a black syndicate. Being a member of that syndicate really led him to commit more crimes than he had ever done. He had lived a life full of wickedness and darkness. Because of his background, the law has been gritting for him, and those who have been victimized really wanted him to be killed. When he was caught by the authority, the request of many to grant him a death penalty was left unattended because of the unfolding of his mental health issue. The professional practitioners regarding mental health declared that he actually has psychosis and they theoretically believed that this illness of him could be the root of all the crimes he had committed. Hearing this statement by his parents really gave them the hope for the recovery of their son and the glance of handing the chance to help their son to right what he has done wrong once he recovered from his illness. Because of this, his sentence was reduced to ten years of imprisonment and within those times, his parents also worked for his recovery. After eight years, he has finally recovered from his illness. He asked for apology to those he harmed. He found his way back to the light when he started learning more about goodness and righteousness. When he finally get rid of imprisonment, he started directing his life to something more meaningful. He's on his 30's those times but he still continued his primary school and kept pursuing his junior and senior years in secondary level. His parents are so grateful knowing that their son has graduated as valedictorian. He completely turned his back from his dark past and his pursuit to head the bright side of life is indeed consistent. He became even more kind, generous, dedicated, committed, passionate, helpful, and an inspiration to others. He became successful in life. He has his wife and children, he has the money, power and influence because of his popular motivational talks, and so much more. His life is completely in a better spot compared to his past.
One day, he was invited and asked to have a speech for those scholars who failed on their licensure exams. These scholars who failed in the said examination are quite depressed because of the result. They indeed needed an eye-opening messages for their optimism and confidence to be brought back. At first, they actually don't pay attention to the speaker because they're aware that the person in front of them was a former criminal. But as he continues his speech, he finally caught their attention. "I was a very delinquent person-and that's not a secret. I've done a lot of different forms of wickedness in this world. But in spite of having such stains in my past, those things did not become a hindrance for me to hand a second chance. I turned my back from the bad 'me' and showed to many that I could get out from the chains of darkness. To tell you all, changing for the better is never easy. Temptation is there, everything around me really tested my patience and courage to get up and redirect my life. But by the grace of God, I found His light, and here I am, talking in front of you." He spoke, and upon hearing his words, all ears turned to him. "My past is my greatest downfall. My past is my greatest failure. But I guess, failures must come first before you finally succeed." He smiled and scanned his audience. "When we fail, we end up questioning our worth. We started yelling inside trying to prove that we always deserve the best. And from what aspect we think we are deserving with, we demand for it to be served on us. For instance, we always do our best, and by that, we expect something that's best to come unto us and pay off all our efforts. But what if we receive the worst out of our best? Will you allow that? Like come on, we have this thought inside our heads that we wanted to stand at the summit of a mountain and shout with a loud voice saying, "Give me what I deserved!" and we wanted others to conform with that idea. But hey, is it really what it truly is?" The audience was in total silence, waiting for his next words to be uttered. "I, myself, know that I'm not a holy person. But just to have a little bit of reflection regarding on our deeds in life, have you tried balancing your works and make a ratio for the good you've done and the bad you've done? Which is heavier, the good works or the bad works of yours?" He laughed with a pausing tone and continued. "I'm gonna use my life story. I was a very bad person, very bad than you could imagine. But look, I am successful now. To ask you a question, do I deserved all what I've got today knowing that I've actually murdered a lot of people? Of course no! I don't deserve to have all of these, but why do I possessed all of these? Well, it's because it runs for a purpose. In your part, you did your very best to pass the examination but then you still failed. Do you deserve to fail knowing that you sacrificed a lot of things for that milestone? Of course no! Why did it happen? Well, because there's a purpose behind these." He made a gaze on his audience and smiled generously. "Did you get my point? What I'm trying to point out is that, don't always ask what you think is you deserve. Yes, we all deserve the best, but are we 'best' enough to deserve all the good things we aspire? To be honest, if I were in your position right now and still bearing my dark past, I won't bother myself asking, "Why didn't I receive what I deserved? Why I didn't pass the examination?" Because from all the lives that I have taken, all the persons I've stolen from, and all the persons that I've harmed, I don't think I still deserve what I have now." He stopped for a moment and the audience saw him crying. "I deserve to be slain and killed, but thanks God I didn't receive what I deserved." He cried and finished his speech.
I feel enlightened when I realized something. We often denote the word "deserve" and attach better things on it. We often believe that what we deserve is always the best. But that's not the way it is. We're living in a sinful world and in a sinful lifestyle, and that idea already deprived us the chance to be deserving of great things. If we are just going to ask what we deserve, we would absolutely receive what we truly deserve-to suffer from our selfish and sinful works and desires. When failure manifests in our lives, don't question the bad things that play in occurrence. Instead, reflect from it and assess yourself for things you never asked but you still have. We can only hand the best we deserved if we known to admit the best we do not deserve. The purpose of failures is to teach us a lesson or remind us a lesson. And once you learned from it and root yourself to a righteous and humble heart, you'll receive the best you never thought you actually deserved.
