Dare to Hope

Chapter 2

Lyrical Feels: 4 Seasons of Loneliness by Boyz II Men

Lost N Found by Lovelyz

Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

Code blue.

Of all of the things I imagine Sam telling me, code blue was the last thing I expected.

As I was pulling into the driveway a quick scan told me that Matt wasn't home yet. Releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding, I got out the car and went inside my house. What greeted me was the spicy aroma of the delicious meal mom had prepared: Stuffed chili's, one of my favorite Mexican dishes.

"Hey honey, how was work?" Mom greeted me while walking into the kitchen putting on ear rings. My mom, Martha Kendall, was dressed in a beautiful blue cocktail dress. She had her dark curly hair in an up do with a few loose curls framing her face to complete her smoky eye look. Although she was in her forties my mom was still beautiful. It doesn't hurt that her Hispanic genes give her an exotic look.

"Work was ok." I replied nonchalantly. It got a lot better especially after Will rescued me from his evil cousin.

OK, where did that come from? Rescue me? It's not like my life was in mortal danger. He just needed me at work which is part of my job description. Anybody could need me at any moment not just him.

"That's good. Listen, your father and I are going out tonight. Your brothers went to the store and should be back any moment. Food is in the oven. Don't wait up for us." Mom had the sweetest voice ever.

The sound of heavy footsteps warned us to my father's presence. Charles Kendall looked over at his wife and with an appreciative growl grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his arms to give her a very long kiss. Even after twenty-five years of marriage my parents are still very much in love. It seemed liked everyday their love becomes stronger. Only a few people in life could say that. To find someone who loves you beyond reason. To overcome all obstacles to be with you and to accept all of your flaws is something I've always wanted.

Suddenly my heart felt heavy.

My mind plagued me with thoughts of loneliness. Would I ever find someone? Call me a pessimist, but I doubt it. Only two guys have ever asked me out and both times I said no because both were creepers. There was once one guy in particular I sort of had a crush on a while back. We would talk occasionally in person but nothing ever came from it. Later on, I found out he started dating someone and married her. Maybe I'm just not girlfriend material. Or books have ruined men for me since they have elevated my standards of what men should be. Yeah, I'm sticking to my latter conclusion.

When my parents concluded their PDA dad simply said to me "I can't help it. Your mom is too hot. See you later love." And they left.

After dinner I went into the living room to watch some TV. While flipping thru the channels and realizing nothing good is ever on I turned it off and instead put on music. By the time the fourth song came on I was singing my heart out. Although knowing I could crack a window at any moment with my below average voice, I didn't care. Then Boyz II Men "4 Seasons of Loneliness" began and my entire mood changed as the lyrics spilled from the speakers.

Music has the ability to describe exactly what you are feeling at any given time.

My phone started vibrating next to me. Turning the music down and thinking it was Sam I answered it.

"Hey Sam. Look I wanted to apologize to you about earlier. You must think I'm a horrible friend. It's just that you caught me off guard."

There was a long pause on the other end.

"Hello? Sam?"

"I didn't realize you and my sister were fighting." Said a low baritone male voice carefully.

I almost dropped my phone like it was possessed.

In all the years I have been friends with Sam, William Knight has never, not even once, contacted me directly for anything. Not that I kept a mental record of it or anything.

So now I started to panic because maybe his unexpected phone call had to do with something serious.

"Is everything ok?" Trying to calm my rapidly beating heart I asked with concern.

"I think I should be asking you that." Amusement filled his voice.

"About Derick." He added quickly clearing his throat. All traces of humor gone.

Wait, what?

"Has he always been picking on you?" This time his question was laced with a hint of anger. My brain was still processing that he had called me that I didn't have time to even think of why he would care now. But worst of all is why am I starting to feel like my heart is going into overdrive with his simple inquiry. It really is a simple innocent question yet for me it feels that this is something more. Like there is a hidden message behind every word meant only for me.

Ok Ellena.

Just breath and calm down.

He's just asking out of concern and politeness.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

So don't start mapping out your future together nor thinking of happy endings.

He only sees you as his little sisters' best friend. Although when you see him you forget he is your best friends brother and see him as someone you have come to admire and respect.

Oh who am I kidding. Why lie to myself again. It's a secret nobody knows. A secret I have been burying for these past years.  Ever since that night he unknowingly stole my heart. 

I'm in like with, not love, but like with Will. But given the right push I know I am in danger of falling completely in love with him and I am afraid of that because if I feel so much for him now, who knows what loving him could do to me. Quietly I have been observing him from afar, afraid to make any type of move for fear of rejection. It may sound cliché but that is why I prefer to just like him from afar. It's safe and so is my heart. Plus, I'm not exactly the type of girl who inspires anything in men except respect.

Romance? Not so much.

That is what I keep saying to myself before I answer him. "You know how Derick is William. He likes to annoy and pick on people but it's nothing I can't handle. He's harmless." I said nonchalantly and meant it. Derick is all bark but no bite and, besides being a huge pain, he's a decent friend.

"Oh I see. Well, if he ever gets to be too much just let me know and I'll handle him."

"I will William and...thank you."

"Your welcome Ellena." He said softly. My chest filled with emotion at his concern. "I'll let you go. I have to call Rebecca now for the same reason. Have a great night." And just like that my small hope that his call was out of pure concern for me only was crushed. It's nothing more, nothing less.

"Good night William." I answered as if nothing internally was happening to me. The line went dead the next instance.