22 Years

  22 years I stuck around. I went through hell for him and for what, for him to cast me aside when he fights with his "girlfriend"?  I was his best friend. At least, I thought I was. So many years I spent with him, I loved him for God's sake, and all he ever did was treat me like a burden. The people would have killed him if it weren't for me. Sure, he could easily win against them, but he wouldn't let himself win. Jaskier made it so that the people of every town they passed through loved Geralt, trusted him, PAYED him. But Jaskier was always just going to be the burden. He hoped that the djinn had heard Geralt's wish. He hoped that the djinn would keep Geralt away. It's not like Geralt would apologize to him. He highly doubted that Geralt even cared enough to look for him.

  Jaskier was afraid. Not for his, but for his sanity. He knew that if Geralt DID apologize, that he would go crawling back to him in an instant. He needed time to gather up the broken pieces of his heart so that if ever ran into Geralt again, that he wouldn't give in so easily. He knew that there was no way to stop the inevitable return to Geralt, he just wanted to be strong enough to postpone it. To set this to his schedule and not Geralt's. Emotionless bastard.

  Months went by where Jaskier only seemed to get more bitter over time. He still sang and played his lute, but he typically kept to himself. His wild, care-free spirit, was left behind with Geralt. His wardrobe had even toned down quite a bit. If you had showed anyone how he used to look compared to how he looked now, a bit rougher around the edges, his hair longer, and his colorful spirit faded, you would never think they were the same person. Jaskier barely remembered who he used to be, but he remembered Geralt. How could he forget him, he wasted 22 years of his life away trying to get Geralt to just, at the very least, say he cared. Even if it was in his normal, passive aggressive sort of way, Jaskier would take it. But he never got it.

  It wasn't until a year later that finally ran into Geralt at a pub. He didn't think that Geralt would remember him, much less recognize him. He least of all expected the greeting that he got.

  "Jaskier? Oh God, Jaskier!" He'd heard those words before, just not in that tone. He was surprised when the realization that he liked this tone just as little. Geralt was afraid. Was he afraid of him, or how he looked. Over time, he slowly became more like Geralt in physique. He was more muscular, better with a sword, he had more scars. Geralt seemed unsure of what to do until he did something that surprised them both.

  Geralt wrapped Jaskier in his arms and clung to him. He buried his head in Jaskier's neck and even more shockingly, let out a quiet sob. That was it. Jaskier had worked so hard on making sure that if Geralt ever came back, he wouldn't give in. He had worked through so many possible scenarios, but he would have never thought to go through this rather out of character. Had he done this? Part him wanted to apologize, but the other part was thrilled that Geralt cared enough about him to react like this.

  He finally managed to clear all other thoughts in order to wrap his arms around Geralt in return. He felt some of his color returning. Not all of it, it was too soon for that, but it was a start. Geralt looked him and for the first time in a while, Jaskier felt like he was going to melt.

"Please, Jaskier, can I...can I just kiss you? Even if I never get to see you again, can I kiss you just once? Geralt's words echoed in his mind so loudly that it took him a moment to even register what was said. God he was weak, but oh how enjoyably so. "Of course."

That was all it took for Geralt to cup his face as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world. His lips were rough, yet so soft at the same time. He tasted like something that could only be described as perfectly and uniquely Geralt. That was all it took for his resolve to break, but god how he loved.

  "I have a feeling this is going to be far from our last kiss." He'd never seen Geralt smile, truly smile, but at least now he knew just how beautiful it was. He just prayed he wouldn't end up being the burden all over again. He didn't have enough heart left for that.