NINE

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1.

Swimming in tears they say

Rivulets falling relentlessly down the contour of your face 

Blood as purple as the liquid in your veins

I'll hug you till it hurts 

I'll smile, because I'm putting you first 

My wings are yours, I'll jump first and meet you at the bottom 

Fly on wings not yours

Trust me when you fall

Because baby, I'll fall first. 

2. 

Baby I'm losing my mind

It hurts and I'm wondering where it went 

A horrible thing to happen when I'd already lost 

But it's funny

I'm laughing 

Yet I don't know why.


3. 

Scream

Cliched Silent screams 

Ropes of heart whipping away 

Voice I never thought I'd have ripping away 

Lungs flapping in the wind like pride flags 

Paper hearts tearing away 

So I scream

Scream for life 

Scream for lies 

Scream my little heart out like nothing would ever matter the same

Even holding another's hand 

 I'll continue to scream 

4. 

Too much to say 

So little okay 

Like a hurricane 

I'll pick things up along the way

Throwing myself away 

Little by little until there nothing "me" enough to stay 

To say, 

What I want 

When I want it 

And the many reasons why I think I'm not okay

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