Hostess || BTS X Reader ✔️

Chapter 29: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

February 20, 2019
3:45 pm

(Y/N) stands in front of a grey door, eyes glaring at the white doorbell. She sighs, letting her finger hover on top of the button. It started in an understated way and disappeared as soon as her finger was lifted; even the doorbell had weariness to it, a strangled sound as though it's battery was somewhat drained.

The female stares at the blond figure in front of her. Chungha looks at (Y/N)'s ashen, almost anemic skin; a cold sweat glistened on (Y/N)'s forehead and her recessed cheeks; the sparkle of (Y/N)'s eyes had been drained and is desperately trying to cling onto the last bit of light she had. (Y/N) gave Chungha the "look", the despairing chill that her eyes conveyed made Chungha feel heartbroken. The blond headed girl looked away for a moment; she couldn't bare it, she couldn't bare seeing (Y/N) looking like this. What was usually strength now showed weakness and what used to be the joy now showed resentment and grief.

"You stupid idiot... you're a stupid fucking idiot, (Y/N). And I thought I was the stupid one in our friendship."

Chungha pulls (Y/N) into a hug that gives gentleness and a space to breathe. A lone tear rolled down the (h/c) headed girl's cheek. Chungha didn't see it, but she could feel (Y/N) crying beside her.

"How did you loose it," Chungha began. "Why did you loose it? Was is even worth it? Wait wait wait, did you even wanted to do it?"

"A human's life is worth it, Chungha... especially one that is not meant to leave the earth yet," (Y/N) answered in a whispery tone.

"What do you mean by that? There's no time for riddles. I'm an impatient little bitch, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) let out a sad laugh. "Do you remember when you told me about the missing girls? Well I found one of them and released her... with.. with a price. You might think I'm fucking stupid and say 'oh (Y/N) why the hell did you sacrifice your entire fucking career just a sake of a girl you don't even know?'... well I witnessed her get taken away, I witnessed her get abused, tortured, humiliated as she was dragged into a van and all I did was nothing... I did nothing when I had the chance to do something."

It seemed unfair that no matter how much (Y/N) strives to be the woman her conscience wanted her to be, something would keep taunting her with her desires and failures. Her eyes shifted to the side, remembering her encounter with Namjoon. Each time the regret of the scene re-emerges, (Y/N) would diligently analyze it again, hoping that this time her mind would be satisfied with her self professed remorse, but no; (Y/N) will never be satisfied.

"My virginity, my job, I wasn't thinking of it in that moment. If you were given the choice of handling someone's life in your hand, would you think thoroughly? Especially with the pressure that's around you? There are times my brain fries up. It's no excuse I know; I'm owning up to my behavior. My purpose of going inside that building became blurred the moment he began to touch me, to make advances towards me, and it was stupid— so stupid that I let him in. I was only thinking: let him do whatever he wanted to me so I set the girl free. I wasn't thinking of the consequences thereafter."

"So you did want it...?" Chungha asks again.

"A part of me did, a part of me didn't. After all a cock is a cock," she threw in a small joke to make her friend laugh.

(Y/N) gathers the rest of thoughts one last time. "I thought he was a good man... the countless nights that we spent together, the talks, the pleasantries, and even a kiss that spoke a thousand words... it stuck to me. It gave me that hope that somewhere deep inside of him... the person that I met with great charisma was still there; maybe that's why I wanted to fuck him. W-why Chungha... why do I have so much hope for the people who had strayed so far away from the light? I guess that's just me... always being a optimist, always looking at the bright side when darkness already envelopes everything in front of me."