Broken Without You

CHAPTER 20

Emily's pov

"Will you learn from now on that you shouldn't ask me personal questions?" He says, looking deeply in my eyes.

He leans down and brushes his lips on mine.

His hands slide down the bookshelf, stopping beside my hips. “I bet you think about me all the time. Nonstop.” He adds.

“You’re crazy.” I press back against the wall, breathless.

His gaze lowered to my mouth. I felt my lips part. “I bet you even write my name in your notebooks, over and over again, with a little heart drawn around it.”

"In your dreams, Axel." I laugh.

He smirks and stays silent.

His hands explore my skin with a mind of their own and I lose it.

For the first time in almost eighteen years, I want to be kissed. I want to feel his lips on mine.

I count to three in my head and try to calm my nerves.

1...

2...

I'm scared!

Just do it Emily! My subconscious tells me.

3...

"You probably even drea-"

I move forward and smash my lips against his, and the rest of his words get lost against my mouth.

He gets caught off guard by my sudden advance but quickly recovers.

He interlaces his fingers with mine and places them above my head.

My heart is pounding in my chest as my knees get weaker. I can only focus on how soft he feels against my mouth, how addictively he's invading all my senses.

The rush of sensations crawling across my body is maddening. Scary. Thrilling.

It still isn't clear if I'm dreaming this moment to life, but there is raw emotion in the way his fingers are curled around mine.

I kept my eyes half open, sneaking a guilty peek at him every time I came back for air, just to make sure this wasn’t a product of my imagination.

I'm not sure if nature rooted for this moment or if my mind is tricking me into a perfect present, but every breath I take smells like Axel, and for the first time since I've known myself, I don't feel shy.

If anything, the warm feeling of his breath, although destabilizing, is inviting.

He holds my face gently, as if I'm a china doll and might break if not handled delicately.

He takes the lead and licks my bottom lip. I've read too many romance novels to know that that is them asking for entrance into your mouth.

I refuse at first, wanting to make him work for it.

He bites my bottom lip, tugging it gently and I involuntarily part my lips and  feel him wash over like a wave of warmth, curling my toes, unfurling all my senses as the taste of him nearly silence all my thoughts.

I pushed off the bookshelf, sealing the tiny space between us, pressing against him, and digging my fingers into his hair. It was soft, silky. Nothing else about him felt that way. 

His hands let go of mine and travel down to my hips, and he lifts me up as if I'm made of air. My legs wrap around his waist, and we move to the left, knocking over a floor lamp.

It topples over, but he doesn't seem to mind. A light pops somewhere in the room. Our lips remain sealed. It's like we can't get enough of each other. We are devouring one another, drowning in each other.

We've been building up to this for weeks, and oh my God was it worth the wait. And I want more.

If this is what it's like to be kissed, then I want to be kissed all the time.

After a while of being lost in each other my phone which was abandoned on his nightstand, rings.

Axel gently places me down and I grab my phone to see who's calling.

"Mom" flashes on my screen and I gulp.

"Hello?" I answer, trying not to sound out of breath.

"Where have you been Emily? You have been gone for almost three hours. Are you guys still studying?"

Three hours?

I quickly check my phone and my eyes widen. It's 8:54 p.m.

Axel looks at me with furrowed eyebrows, trying to figure out what's wrong.

I mouth him the time and his eyes widen also.

"Oh sorry mom, my bad, we didn't keep track of the time. We had a lot of notes to go over." I apologize in a rushed voice.

"Just come home now, we will talk about this later." She says in a stern voice.

"Okay mom, I'll be there in five minutes." I say.

We exchange goodbyes and hang up.

I put the phone back on his nightstand and go over to the mirror next to his window to try and tame my hair and look presentable before leaving his house.

Once I'm satisfied with my appearance, I make my way to his bed and start packing up and placing my notes in my bag.

I turn around and look at Axel and he runs a hand through his hair, further dishevelling it.

"You're leaving?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say quickly and finish packing.

"I'll accompany you to the door." He mutters and leaves the room.

I find his behavior odd. I just hope that our kiss won't make anything awkward between us.

I leave his room and meet him at the door.

He barely looks at me, and says good night.

I feel a pang of sadness rush over me, and to be honest, a pinch of embarrassment too.

I shared my first intimate moment with him, and he's here, giving me the cold shoulder.

I know I don't have time to ask about what's wrong, so I just quietly wish him good night.

I expected him to slam the door as soon as I turned my back around.

But surprisingly he doesn't, he waits for me to cross the street and reach my door, before he gently closes it shut.

I quickly unlock my door, get inside and slide against it and sit on the floor, with my knees to my chest and head between my legs.

I don't even cry, because I don't believe I have a reason to.

But I guess I didn't expect him to react the way he did after the moment we shared.