Broken Without You

CHAPTER 26

Emily's pov

We stand there, holding each other under the moonlight, heartbeats synchronized.

My sobs can't seem to be tamed, escaping my lips every chance they get.

After some time, Axel takes a step back, and caresses my face, hooking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, his eyes boring into mine.

"I don't know." I whisper and look down at my feet, not wanting to look at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so extremely sorry for everything. My intention wasn't to hurt you. Not at all..." He trails off.

"Why did you do it then? Why did you tell Catharine that we kissed. Or worse, that I threw myself at you and you pushed me away?" I ask and look up at him, a single tear rolling down my cheek.

He sighs, removes his hand off my cheek and runs a hand through his hair, disheveling it.

He takes a step back, and looks deep in thought, as if trying to put his thoughts into words the best way he can.

"Let's go, I don't want to do this here." He says softly and reaches out for my hand.

I hesitate, should I really trust him again?

I decide to give him a chance. This way I'll get some answers to the questions that have been haunting me.

He takes my hand and we quickly exit the cemetery.

I look at his motorcycle parked next to my car and shoot Axel a glance.

"Let's take my motorcycle, I'll bring you back here to get your car." He answers my unvoiced question, and leads me to his motorcycle, our fingers still intertwined.

He gives me another spare helmet from under his seat and puts it on for me.

He clips it in place slowly, looking into my eyes.

Why is he being this way? Acting like he cares, acting like he used to...

I get rid of those thoughts and get on the bike after him.

I take a deep breath, inhale the cool night air, and wrap my arms around his torso and we take off.

We arrive minutes later at the clearing he took me to the first time. Somehow it looks better than the last time I was here.

Trees high up, almost as if scraping the sky with their enormous height, and the sound of the wind whistling past my ears, putting me in a trance.

I step off the motorcycle, and take steady steps towards the cliff.

It seems the closer you walk to the end, the more beautiful the view gets.

Lights of the city are shining like stars burning in the sky. It resembles heaven on earth.

Standing here and taking in the view almost makes me forget my sorrows, make me think about all the people out in the city, what they're going through.

Footsteps snap me out of my daze and I turn around to face Axel.

He stops once he sees me turn around and shoves his hands in his front pockets, shifting gis weight from one foot to the other.

I turn back around, not wanting to disturb our peaceful silence.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He asks from behind me.

"It is." I reply without looking back.

As the clock starts to tick, and the lights from windows of high buildings turn off one after the other, a long silence falls upon us, but I don't mind.

This moment feels so intimate, so tender.

My head starts to pound, sharp and heavy.

I wince at the unexpected throbbing, and shoot my fingers to my temples, wanting to message the growing headache away.

"Are you okay?" Axel asks quickly, worry evident in his voice.

"Yeah I'm fine, my head just hurts." I say dismissively.

"Have you eaten today?" He asks shoftly.

"I don't know, the last time I ate was before I went to the library, which was-" I stop and look at my phone.

"7 hours ago..." I trail off.

"Are you serious? You need to take better care of yourself Emily." Axel says, clearly disappointed by my carelessness.

It's not the first time I've gone a long period of time without eating. Sometimes I'm too preoccupied with homework that the only thing that I think of is finishing it and going to bed.

"I'm fine Axel, really." I sigh, turn my attention back to the view and we continue staring at the now almost blacked out city.

After a while, he comes closer to me and breaks the silence.

"Come with me to the cave, I want to explain everything." He says in a low controlled voice.

I look up at him, the moonlight is shining softly on his face, making his already sharp jawline more promising.

He's looking at the city, with furrowed brows, seemingly having an internal battle with himself.

"Okay." I whisper.

Hopefully this way we could both face the troubles we've been having this past few days. Maybe he actually has a reason for telling my business to the whole school.

He looks at me and his lips twitch slightly, as if trying to give me a smile but failing miserably.

What is going on with him? What could be bothering him so much?

He leads us to the entrance of the cave, hidden with long branches, shielded from those who don't know of its existence.

He takes my hand and tingles shoot up my spine.

It's nothing Emily, the path is very rocky, he doesn't want me to trip and snap my neck. My subconscious reminds me.

She's right. I shouldn't get attached again, I have to protect my heart.

We continue to walk through the path being illuminated by Axel's flashlight.

The sound of splashing water is becoming louder, indicating that we are at the end of the path.

I tighten my grip on Axel's hand, suddenly feeling anxious and lightheaded.

I close my eyes shut, fighting off nausea.

What's going on with me? Sure, I've felt a little dizzy before, but not to this extent.

The world sarts spinning around me. How do I stop this?

"Axel." I breathe out before my world goes dark.