Alpha Tristan ✓ [Republishing]

Sarantapente [ 45 ]

author's note: five chapters left :(

"Alpha Tristan won't like that, Luna."

I sighed and pursed my lips. "I know that. That's exactly why I told him to get some food. He doesn't have to know."

Matthijs stared at me cautiously and the rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue. "He'll know. And besides, the cells are quite far away. How would I take you there if you can barely move by yourself?"

"What about the sleds?"

He shook his head with a deep sigh. "Kara, this is a recipe for disaster. If you hurt yourself, I won't just have Alpha mad at me but your mother too. Surely you can wait another day to see Mindy."

"I can't." My voice was strained. "She has pissed me off since the very first day I met her. And now, she plays with me by getting into my mind and telling me my mate won't love her because of me."

Matthijs still looked weary and I knew I had to say something to convince him.

"Put yourself in my shoes. Wouldn't you want to speak to her too?"

A conflicted expression crossed his face and he frowned. "Kara, the problem here isn't that you want to speak to her, it's that you just woke up today and it would be unwise of you to be near her right now."

My determination didn't waver. I took a deep breath before slowly climbing out of the bed. My legs trembled slightly but I stood as confidently as I could, ignoring the pain that gripped me. Matthijs stood with me after he pulled his jacket off. He reached out when I began to feel light-headed.

"This is what I—"

I swatted his hands away and gritted my teeth as I took my first step on my own. It felt weird to be moving but I powered through the discomfort. I didn't feel like myself and I wished with everything in me that the initiation fight didn't end the way it did.

When I had woken up that morning, I expected to end the day with festivities and happiness—not blood and fatal wounds.

I walked to the other corner of the room and I was oddly out of breath. I braced myself against the wall and Matthijs came behind me.

"Kara, don't force yourself."

My forehead rested against the wall and I closed my eyes as a wave of emotion threatened to pull me under. I hated everything I felt and it was for the first time ever in my life that I wished I couldn't feel a damn thing, physically and emotionally.

I was silent when Matthijs settled his hands on my shoulders, trying to guide me back to the bed. Stubbornly, I planted my feet on the ground and shook my head.

"I'm tired of sitting down. I'm tired of lying down. I'm—" My chest felt like it was closing in on itself and I wouldn't let myself react in front of anyone. I forced myself to steady my breathing and ended up feeling slightly nauseous.