Spy Story

38.

His heart was pounding, and his breath was about to come off, if only he had taken another step forward he was sure a panic attack would come.

"Hey Alexander, babe, it's okay, they'll understand." Magnus joined him with the bag on his shoulders, resting a hand on Alec's shoulder, smiling at him as his fiancé turned towards him.

Alec's eyes fixed on those of Magnus, and a small smile formed on his lips, feeling much better, turning back to the mason in front of them.

'Okay, no, I don't feel better at all'. Alec thought as he felt his breath fail again, turning quickly and starting to walk towards the exit of the gate.

But his actions were immediately stopped by Magnus, who put a hand on his chest stopping him, and made him turn again, putting himself behind him and pushing his hands on his shoulders, making him walk against his will.

"Alec. Stop. Keep calm". Magnus said between his teeth while with all his strength he was pushing his fiancé who was trying at all costs to put his feet on the ground and not move.

"I can't do it Magnus, I can't look them in the eyes after what I've done, and see the hatred and disapproval in their eyes." At those words Magnus stopped abruptly making Alec stumble a little, but he managed to find his balance immediately, turning to Magnus with a raised eyebrow.

"It won't happen, and you know why? Because when I came to you I felt nothing of the two, I just wanted to see you. And you know why I didn't hate you or I was disappointed?". Magnus asked, not actually expecting an answer from an Alec who was watching him closely in the eyes, trying to be comforted.

"Because I love you, and so do they, and this feeling is too strong to be dominated by everything else. Maybe at the beginning they will get angry, but you will see that afterwards it won't be like this, okay?". Magnus asked putting his hands on Alec's cheek, and passing his thumbs over it in a circular motion that made his fiancé relax.

"It may be, but after what I'll tell them we don't know how they will react." Alec said, bringing his forehead to Magnus's, to feel his warmth, since they had returned to the winter climate of New York, and also to feel more comfort.

"We just have to find out". Magnus said moving away and putting himself on tiptoe to kiss Alec's forehead, and when he left he saw the sweet smile of the other that warmed his heart.

Magnus took Alec's hand in his, intertwining his fingers, and together they walked towards the entrance to the Lightwood mason. Alec's heart grew heavier with every step, like his breath, but having Magnus beside him was like he knew he would never sink with him, that he was his anchor. Magnus knocked twice on the door for Alec, not having the strength to move a limb himself.

"I'm coming!". Alec had a blow to his heart when he heard the voice of his little brother after a long time, but it wasn't this that made him remain more ill. The thing that made his heart squeeze was to hear his voice usually so cheerful and happy, so dull and sad, and this made him feel like his heart was falling at his feet.

"What do y..." Max's voice stopped when his eyes went to place on the two figures in front of him, or in particular on one, which was now really going to have an heart attack and that gripped the fiancé's hand at his side in a deadly grip.

"Alec..." Max's eyes had widened and his mouth was slightly parted as he looked into the eyes of his brother.

"Max". Alec told him in response hoping that when his brother's gaze recovers from the shook he will not see the disappointment, but probably as he discovered later he will see nothing at all.

Max, after getting out of his trans, had punched him on the jaw, and then walked away with heavy steps, while Jace, Kit and Ty came to the door and didn't understand what was happening before their eyes fell on Alec's figure that was massaging his aching jaw.