down in the dms

070.

YBN Nahmir

the minute everything happened with her blocking me off of everything. i took the first flight out of New York. i didn't tell anybody i left and frankly i didn't care to, i was more focused on making things right with maliah and getting her to understand what happened. alycia got me drunk.

as i sat in my seat, i began thinking of all the worst possibles things that can happen. she'll give me back the ring, she's not home and probably somewhere else, she'll put me on child support, she won't let me see my daughter, etc. i had so many mixed emotions running through my head. sadness, anger, etc.

as the plane was landing, i sat up and grabbed my phone. yes the only thing i brought back was my phone and wallet. fuck all the other shit, i'll just buy new shit. i already had a driver waiting for me by the time i got off. i was basically running towards the car at this point.

"to this location please and fast." i said desperately as i gave him the address making him nod. he pulled out the airport and drove off into the busy highway. i was so mad at myself. please just let her be home when i arrive.

a solid 30 minutes later, i reached my destination. i basically ran out of the car and ran towards the door. i knocked but there was no answer. knocked again, no answer. and again, no answer. i finally remembered about the spare key we would always leave beside one of the plants outside, and unlocked the door. i walked into the apartment and seen it was empty and quiet.

"maliah?" i yelled out hoping she would pop up from around the corner. i walked into the kitchen, nothing. the living room, nothing. "babe!"

i ran up towards the room and opened it, it was empty. everything was still in place though, even her clothes. tears started forming in my eyes because this shit was hurting the fuck out of me. i walked towards kaylas room and open it, spotless clean. except some of her clothes were taken, diapers as well.

she really left.

i dropped to my knees and took in everything. i fucked up. i looked at my daughters crib and then towards the corner of my eye, a teddy bear i bought for her. i grabbed it and hugged it and immediately broke down. i can't lose them.

i unlocked my phone and looked for kyras number and clicked it. i began hearing it ring. there goes one ring, nothing. there goes the second ring, nothing.

"hello?"

my breathed hitched as i heard kyra speak into the phone, "kyra? it's me nick."

"yeah no shit, i do have your number saved." she replied back angrily. she knows forsure. "what do you want nicholas."

"i fucked up i know kyra and i'm so fucking sorry. i was drunk like she got me flat out wasted and i knew i should've known what was happening but idk, drinks were just getting thrown at me left and right and i know this isn't making anything better and i'm so sorry, i don't know if you have me on speaker but if she's listening let her know that i'm sorry and that i love her but i swear i didn't mean any of it, i h-hate myself so much for it. is she there with you kyra? kayla, my child? p-please ky.." i spoke into the phone as my voice kept cracking. "can i go to your apartment and see her? please."

"they're both with me nick but not at my apartment, we're at maliahs moms but please don't come. you have to understand, maliah found out you cheated on her through the internet. fucking social media, fucking instagram to be exact like who wants to find out the love of their life cheated on them? nobody and especially while she was at home taking care of your daughter who she just gave birth to not even a two months ago... i love you like as a big brother and everything but c'mon nick i know you were drunk but did you not have the least bits of thoughts that something was wierd when you seen her there?" kyra spoke into the phone as i listened. "like especially with all the shit she tried with you and maliah like you should've known the minute you seen her, shit wasn't finna be right. i honestly don't know what to tell you nick besides the fact that you fucked up really bad."

my heart was broken. "how is she doing?" i whispered into the phone as kyra sighed. i began to break down even more at this point.

"she's broken. confused. overwhelmed. in shock. she hasn't broken down yet because of her wanting to stay strong for kd but i know she wants to and she will eventually. i'm sorry nick, you really just have to give her space and let her figure out what she wants to do and how she wants to continue with y'all as much as it sucks to hear that but it's the truth, you can't be pressuring her with anything after what you did." kyra said as i sat with my head in my knees sniffling. "i know she won't keep you away from kayla because that's not how she is but she might never want anything to do with you after this... you're gunna have to keep that in mind nick. i'll talk to you soon though, be careful, be safe and please don't do anything dumb."

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check my profile for an update of what's been happening with me and where ive been if y'all want and or care lol, xo later