Past Writings

Traced

My fingers traced his eyelids. The tranquility was haunting. The rightness of it all felt like a lie. A perfect picture was about to be ripped apart. I touched his flesh and felt my heart explode. His long lashes cast a shadow under his eyes and they were like blinders. He opened his eyes and stared into mine. The green pools hypnotize me and I can't seem to pull away. Like second nature, my fingers float to his lips. It parted a little, encouraging more. He bends down slowly and his moist lips connected with mine like two pieces of a puzzle. Our hearts collide and our emotions fuse into one. I could feel every inch of his body, every hardness and every softness. We felt each other completely, not leaving any unexplored territory. His hands grasped mine and our fingers intertwined like cotton weaved together. I can taste passion and sweat in his lips. His body treated mine like a fragile piece of glass, like a work of art he couldn't buy, couldn't have.

I don't know what we're reaching for.

A tear slid down but I was unsure whose. His body was pressed against mine and I could feel two beating hearts that beat as one. It was beating fast and hard like time on a clock telling us our time is running out. It was then I realise the tears belonged to me and I couldn't stop them from coming. He stopped whatever he was doing when I couldn't stop an uncontrollable sob. I was so sorry. So sorry. These words lost on my lips.

He kissed my tears and my eyes and it reminds me of when a butterfly lands on your finger. He had the power to make me feel beautiful when the whole world seemed to be collapsing. And I want to hold on to him, to have him whole.

His voice broke," It's okay baby"

I shook my head, sending an earthquake to his crumbling heart," N-no" It was barely a whisper but unfortunately he heard it.

His face became a withered flower and I hate to know that I caused it and now everything felt shattered. His tears mixed with mine and I couldn't even tell him it was okay. I couldn't pick up the pieces and fix him like he did me.

And why couldn't I do that? Why did he make it seem so easy?

Repeatedly, he wipes the tears from my face but its never-ending and he looks at me like all hope is lost. Like he didn't know what to do anymore. And a sob escapes him like a horse punching through at the start of a race. And I wonder how long he has been keeping his jar full.

I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault but all words were lost and all I could manage was to draw him closer with my lips. I tasted salt and hoped all the missing words would reveal themselves to him. That maybe, his heart would understand and maybe would grow again.

Our last words were "I love you"

And it wasn't enough. How do you put the whole world in 3 words?