An Introvert's Guide To Finding Love

twenty eight | decisions |

Pari woke up in the morning to find the right side of the bed empty, the bedsheets crinkled into a mess witnessing the love that she and Siddharth had made last night. Pari knew that Siddharth must have woken up and had gotten out of the bed, she getting up, sliding into her underwear and then dressing up in one of Siddharth's shirts that he had left for her beside the dresser, which almost came to her thighs, walked around the house but Siddharth was nowhere to be seen. She felt relief wash over as Pari was not sure how she would have had faced him after last night. Last night was everything she had ever wanted and probably everything that Siddharth had wanted too but somewhere deep down she knew that she couldn't afford to get herself tangles in emotions again and for that very reason whatever happened last night was not to happen.

Walking inside the kitchen Pari saw a note stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet, with a doodled heart in one corner and bearing Siddharth's name at the bottom.

"Hey, beautiful. I had an early morning interview. I didn't want to wake you up so left without saying anything. There is breakfast on the dining table. By the way, you look so pretty sleeping peacefully. Can't wait to be home to you."

Pari automatically smiled to herself and blushed reading his little note but she felt a pang of guilt too as her thoughts wandered to what had happened last night between them. She had never meant any of those to happen, even though she had dreamed about its innumerable times, her little erotic dreams but yet it had happened and she had no idea how she was going to look Siddharth in the eye after having disappointed herself. Pari felt like she had broken the promise she had made to herself long ago.

Freshening up, Pari made her way back to the kitchen, deciding to have the breakfast that Siddharth had left her. After the breakfast, she strolled around his place, taking in the details that she hadn't noticed on her few visits there and a little after noon she headed back over to her place. Pari's head was still hurting from last night's hangover so she decided to take a long bath.

Later that day, Pari saw some missed calls from Maddy which I ignored, deleting them instantly without even taking a look. She was in no mood to listen to her accusations or her apologies, whichever it might have been deciding that it was time to leave people being who didn't want her in their lives. There was also a text from Siddharth asking how she was feeling that morning, which she ignored as well.

I didn't want to ignore Siddharth but I didn't know how to be able to face him either.

Pari was making dinner when she heard the front door bell of her apartment ring, she wished with all her heart that it wouldn't be Siddharth as she walked to the door but fate was never her friend. She opened the door to reveal the man she had feared, still opening the door wide enough for him to walked past her and seated himself in the couch.

"Cooking dinner for us?" He asked looking at the kitchen and sniffing the aroma coming for the direction.

"No just me." Pari stated flatly.

Siddharth was quick to sense her nonchalant tone and knew that something was wrong cause, deciding for what he was thinking, he finally asked her. "Is something wrong? Is it about last night?"

"Whatever happened last night was just a mistake." Pari said her tone harsh and voice raspy, breaking Siddharth's heart. Pari too didn't fail to notice that Siddharth looked heartbroken by her words and she could see his eyes welling up a little, but he quickly controlled himself. She too didn't bother to explain herself or justify actions, knowing that it would pain Siddharth further but she didn't want to give him false hope. She was not going to indulge herself with Siddharth and she dint want Siddharth hoping the same.

"No, it wasn't. I wanted it, and you wanted it too." He said his voice loud and clear echoing through Pari's apartment. He sat up straight, composing himself and then finally speaking up from his heart. "Damn Pari, I had wanted it for so long now."