Facing Fears

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Coughing up saltwater is not a graceful task, especially when the resident hot girl is watching me with absolute concern.
Sure, she offered to teach me how to surf, and I absolutely need to learn this or I'm going to lose my job, but at what cost? She's watched me fall and embarrass myself for nearly three hours, and I am not getting any better. 

"You know what? I think now is a good time for us to take a break," she offers, with a sheepish smile. I give her a grateful smile externally, but internally I'm melting once again at her Australian accent. It makes her easier to listen to, but it's not like she had trouble grabbing my attention in the beginning. I used to think I was straight, but then I met her. The beautiful blonde hair, the strong jaw, the perky breasts, toned abdomen, long legs, round ass, and sky blue eyes? I fell for her before I learned her name. 

"Lemonade inside sound good?" She asks. 

"Absolutely. Could you hand me my towel?" Yes, she's seen me splash around for a while now, but I am still not wanting to strut my body in front of her. I'm not that bad, and I recognize that my body type is different from hers, but I don't want her to think less of me. When she hands me my towel, I immediately wrap it tightly around me to obstruct her view of my body. 

"Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me you were cold? Let's hurry up and get inside." She takes my hand and leads me up the path to her house, and I internally curse myself for not realizing she would think something else was wrong. Once inside, I pull my hand away and fake away my feelings. 

"Lemonade now?" I smile as I walk to the glasses and pour it up for us. She accepts, and we sip in silence. I take the time to refocus myself, and get over my awkward nature.
After finishing my glass, I turn to face her. Why can't I get in control of my heart? Of my body? The second she looks into my eyes, my mouth dries up and I can't remember what I was going to say; I just want to press against her and breathe her in. Somehow, I manage. 

"Thank you for everything today, but I've got to get going." Is that...disappointment on her face? I brush it off as she collects herself. 

"Oh, okay. So I'll see you tomorrow?" Her voice shakes a little bit, and I feel guilty about trying to rush out of here simply because I can't face her. My brain turns to mush when I look at her, and that makes conversation difficult. But I also can't just leave her when she's obviously struggling with something, especially if my only plan is to go home and jump onto my vibrator while recounting what she looks like in her dripping bikini. 

"Hey, is everything okay?" I ask, gently touching her arm. She looks at me and offers me a quick smile. 

"Everything is fine. Go ahead and head on out," she says, and leans down to give me a peck on the cheek. I try to play off the blood rushing to my face and instead question her again. 

"Are you sure? You can tell me anything, you know." She nods and turns back towards me. 

"I know, I just....I don't want you to think less of me." Higher thinking automatically rejoins me, and I walk over to her. I do my best to make eye contact, even though she is several inches taller than me, and I take her hands in mine. 

"I could never think less of you. You are the greatest person I know, and nothing you say could change my opinion of you." With that, I give her hands a gentle squeeze and take a step back. She takes a steadying breath and looks me directly in the eye. 

"Are you gay?" 

I blink away my surprise and force any ounce of inconspicuous off my face. "No, I'm straight. Why?" I deflect. One again, I see a flicker of disappointment on her face. 

"Do you promise not to hate me?" She asks, her voice soft. 

I put my pinky finger out for her to take, and solemnly swear, "I promise absolutely." She smiles a small, sad smile, and nods. 

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