Melody

15. too much is not enough

♫ too much is not enough

"don't move, don't talk out of time
don't think, don't worry
everything's just fine
i feel numb
too much is not enough."
- numb, u2, 1993

notes: i felt like i was quoting too much u2 so i went back and changed one of the chapters. this'll be the last u2 lyric i'm sorry guys ((i love them and no-one else does haha)) the song 'numb' is so crazy it's got me questioning my existence so i attached it in a link have fun reading/listening

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Louis walked in to Zayn's flat with his head hung low. Zayn turned around from where he was sitting on the lounge (it was a studio apartment with one living/kitchen/dining room and one bedroom) and he could tell, just by his friend's body language, what had happened. Or, at least, he had a clue, and that was more than Niall had.

"Hey," Zayn said in that consoling tone that never help anything and just amplified Louis' desire to punch the wall. "Sit down and tell me what happened." he pointed at the couch and Louis sat, his arms folded over his chest, and an over-sized hoodie that Zayn guessed must have been Harry's. (He briefly wondered how many jackets Louis had kept from his ex-boyfriends, but wisely didn't think out loud.)

"C-Can Niall leave, please?" Louis looked up, his face pale but blotchy, and Zayn gave Niall a look and mouthed to him that "It'd be best."

Niall nodded, understanding, and Zayn silently thanked him. "Lou," he began, talking to the boy in the grey hoodie. It had a picture of an orange paw print on it. "You don't come to me for help unless it's, like, super important," Zayn stated, and rubbed Louis' back in what he hoped was a comforting way (Louis didn't slap him so it must have been.) "Did someone's house burn down? What's happened?"

Louis gave Zayn the take me seriously, you prick, and Zayn shrugged. "I, um," Louis said softly, "Harry - left me, and I. I panicked over it and I ran away and I - he left, Zee!"

Zayn narrowed his eyes, concentrating. "He just left you? Like he packed up and left? I thought you were staying over at his."

"Well, yeah," the older boy mumbled, "I woke up and he wasn't there, wasn't anywhere, so I had to leave, y'know, and 'cos if he liked me, he would've stayed, yeah?"

"It's his house. What makes you think he'd leave someone he didn't like in his own house?" Zayn said monotonously, "And you said you panicked?"

Louis blinked a few times, and whether he was blinking away tears or just shocked, Zayn will never know. But he reckoned that it was the first one. This was something that Louis and Zayn always did when one of them was having a bit of a breakdown - they sat down and interrogated each other until they'd worked through the problem. It worked for Zayn's first boyfriend, it worked for Curtis, and it just usually worked. But sometimes Zayn would get bored and he and Louis would try a different, slightly more illegal coping strategy but to the best of Louis' knowledge, Zayn was rid of that particular habit. "I panicked," Louis said, but it was more of a confession.

"Oh, Lou," Zayn used that stupid mothering tone again and Louis was really close to clocking him but decided that it wouldn't really help anything. "I really thought you were over those."

"I thought I was, too!" Louis shouted, and then he sobbed loudly, because he didn't mean to shout; now Zayn's neighbours were going to think he was a weirdo and everyone hated Louis and Louis didn't mean to do any of it.

"Can I come back in?" said Niall from the doorway.

"No!" Louis yelled, and Zayn gave an apologetic look.