How this story began

31 0 0
                                    

I guess some of us had definitely fell for people with the same gender. Some might think it's morally and religiously wrong while some might think it's perfectly fine. Basically there's those who think it's morally wrong, finds it perfectly fine and the worst, falling for him/her but he/she did not return that feeling. The last one definitely hurts the most. For me, when I realised that I fell for 'Samantha', to me it's morally wrong and that 'Samantha' is straight and does not feel the same way. After a month or so, things got worse. Apparently that bitch became psychotic (not literally) and started tweeting and retweeting hurtful and mean stuff about 'you'. Back then, I didn't know that 'you' was me and I thought that she was down and hurt because of 'you'. I actually consoled her. Looking back, I couldn't believe that I was so thick to not have seen through her antics. Only 2 people fully knew what happended. 'Samantha' herself did not know about how I felt. Up till now, she might not know unless she's reading this. Even if she is, I don't think she knows I'm talking about her. All those suicidal thoughts started coming when 'Samantha' did not actually do anything to stop 'Jessica'. Im my story line, 'Jessica' and 'Samantha' aren't exactly buddies. However, in realitythey are. Knowing that 'Samantha', the girl you had actually fell for before

(KEYWORD:BEFORE. I swear everything seems twice as weird as i write this becos im over her)

did not stop those things from happening hurts 10 times worse than the bullying. The signals that I was getting were that 'Samantha' was afraid to offend 'Jessica' and did not want to risk losing their friendship. There's a reason why I started turning off my whatsapp timestamp. I do not want any psycho-bitch to be stalking my last see and changing her status when she knew I was online to hurt me. It has been at least 4 months and you, 'Jessica', won't you get tired of this? What good would it bring to you? Well, at least I had true friends such as Whitz and Charlene who actually helped me past this shit and stopped me from doing anything stupid such as killing myself. Also cesca, who well, just being herself helped the best. Without these three awesome gals, I might still be a broken person mor maybe worse, dead. I owe one to them. Yeah Im strong enough not to cry in front of many people, and because of it, people think it's okay to hurt me over and over again. Im strong enough to say 'Im fine.' when people ask me 'Are you okay?'. I do it because it's easier than telling my feelings and problems. And for many times, I always succeded in making them believe me. Seriously, yeah. Sometimes I need help from people. But the fact is, sometimes only 1 out of 10 will really care about my feelings/problems. The other 9 will just mock and give shit advices. Im strong enough to make myself believe everything is okay when everything is messed up. Im strong enough to smile in the morning after crying all night alone. After all of the above, yeah Im still strong <3. And i thank YOU for making me stronger by putting me through all these shit. Thank YOU 'Jessica' for making me stronger.

~*~*~

Joys <3

Story of my life (based on a true story)Where stories live. Discover now