Just Focus (FFXIII)

16) Palumpolum

For a while, we walk in tense silence with only the crashing of the water and the low hum of the fal'Cie to fill the air. I hang back by myself, tiptoeing past clusters of flanitors, those smelly tamed monsters, and wonder what our next move should be. Finding direction, I guess, but maybe this time we listen to more than one voice at once. Easier said than done.

"So what do we do now?" Hope asks, finally breaking the silence. "We're l'Cie! Ticking time bombs. Enemies of Cocoon. If we can't follow the plan, do we just lay down and die?"

"I didn't mean we should give up."

"Then what battles do we fight? And against who? Tell me that!"

"I don't know yet."

"You don't know yet?"

"Hope!" I shout, exasperated. "We're not out of time, so cool it!" Huffing, I hurry toward the two of them. "We can come up with another plan, we can adjust the one we have, and on and on and on. It's not over just because we were wrong."

"So now you're against me too?!"

"No one's against you!" Light snaps. "I don't know who to fight and when, but I do know we can't lose hope." Hope scoffs, turning and sitting on the stairs.

"Hope? There is no hope, not for l'Cie."

"There's you."

"It's my name, not who I am."

"I was just like you," she scoffs, resting a hand on her hip and turning away from us. "My parents died. I had to be strong for Serah, so I thought I needed to forget my past. I became Lightning. I thought that by changing my name, I could change who I was. I was just a kid."

I lean against the rail of the walkway, intrigued by this little look into Light. The real Lightning, not the cold, angry version that's turned her back on the rest of the world. It's strange that something like this whole mess could turn her around and twist her a hundred ways, but that's just what it's doing to me, too.

"Lightning... It flashes bright, then fades away. It can't protect. It only destroys." She turns back and sits beside Hope, resting an elbow on her knee. "Serah tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen." Suddenly, she leaps back up to her feet, face dawning with realization. "I threatened her. The only one who believed her was Snow..."

"Don't say it!" Hope shouts, enraged at just the sound. "Don't say his name. It brings everything back." Why was I fighting Snow to begin with? I gnaw on my cheek, ashamed. This was about his wounds all along, not my thirst for blood. "I keep playing it over in my head, what happened to her. And then I see his stupid face and... and he's smiling. How can he smile when she's dead?"

"Hope..."

"I know!" he stands, turning away from Light. "There's nothing I can do about it. I hate knowing that. No matter what happens, she's not coming back! But when I was fighting, there was no time to think about it. It felt good just to give in." He brings his arm up to stare at the brand marring his skin. "But now you start talking about hope..." Lightning tugs on his wristband, covering the brand back up, and he sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm messed up."

"No..." Lightning shakes her head, looking past him at me. "It's my fault." Hope pulls away, looking up at the translucent ceiling of the tunnel that shines in the dimmest section of daylight. Light takes a breath and rests a hand on her hip. "Talk to your dad."

"What? Why?"

"Fighting without hope is no way to live." Lightning turns to lead the way to the exit. "It's just a way to die." Hope sighs and starts to follow. "I want you to find the hope you were named for. Staying alive, I can help you with. But I can't... I can't give you hope. If you go to see your father..."