bitter regret [h.p]

[1]

Love is like rain
Sometimes it is thunder
For there is tragedy and sorrow
Accompanied by wonder

                                          [1]

Hermione stood there, waiting for the train. It was cloudy, as always in London. The birds chirped a new song, one that she wasn't familiar with. She came to the train station almost every day, allowing her to recognize most of the birds here. She had even named a few, a gesture that made her feel like Cinderella.

She stood there waiting for awhile as the trains at this hour were never predictable. Sometimes it'd come real early or other times, it wouldn't even show up. This was common in her neighborhood, a very poor one after all. As the birds stopped signing, a silence began to arise, nothing moved, not even the cars. She was alone for almost half an hour, standing in the dusk of dawn.

In terms of her surroundings, there was no sense of happiness in the atmosphere yet she was optimistic for what the day had left for her. This had to be a good day, after all, it was her first day of university.

She leaned against the lamp post, thinking about her outfit. She was dressed in black jeans and a crop top, maybe it was too much she thought. Her hands remained crossed together as she stood on a slant, putting most of her weight on the lamp post. Hermione began to also think of the possible scenarios she'd encounter today, causing her hands to get all sweaty without her notice. She was a very anxious person especially when meeting new people. She was always shy and liked to keep herself but she also hated being by herself. Her personality itself was a paradox.

Hermione didn't know of anyone attending this school, majority of her friends from college ended up going abroad for university and she had gotten a full ride to Oxford. She wanted to explore the world but she was not exactly rich enough to afford classes outside of England, it is hard enough to pay off the bills. She was a hard worker though, a characteristic that she admired about herself. She never used this against others though, it didn't make her feel that confident either.

Hermione began to look at her outfit again, causing her to get second thoughts. She thought of going back to change and questioned the decision but by the time she had decided to, the train was already there. At this time, many commuters had just arrived, trying to catch a spot before the train was packed.

Hermione awkwardly stood in line for the train as there was lots of other commuters especially this early. She had accidentally bumped into an old man and apologized, but he never heard her nor did he feel it, causing her to feel embarrassed. He didn't even acknowledge it she thought. The whole thing had already given her a bad feeling as things like this made her feel small, like she did not matter. It was dumb but a habit of hers, she hated that feeling. The one where you have no control over what happened. It makes her feel vulnerable.

She overthought the situation while waiting her turn to get inside. She always did this, overthinking everything to the point she thinks about it ten years later. This would be a memory she'd remember for another ten years at least. She thought of it once again until she seated herself in the back of the train right next to a window. Hermione did not want this day to be bad, thus, she told herself to focus on something.