Fed Up

JUST ALL AROUND AVERAGE

Ethan could feel his stim tics getting more and more out of control. His leg was bouncing a bit, his fingers were drumming and twitching and he would gently smack his thighs sometimes, he'd squeeze his eyes shut and all the while he was rocking back and forth in his gaming chair, barely an inch each way but he was still rocking back and forth a bit. He had gotten ready and was just about to record a video when this started happening. He had his stimmy things he did as a result of his ADHD/ADD combo situation he had going on. He would do all of the things he was currently doing whenever he was slightly distracted or trying to focus–in order to help him focus easier sometimes–but it was always at a more tamed and in-control level. And also not all at the same time. It was absolutely manageable and it had been, but it was starting to just get annoying.

He sighed, he had wanted to record and edit a video today with the newfound motivation burst he had randomly got. But now, he couldn't stay still or focused long enough to even start it, he couldn't even remember what he had wanted to record in the first place anymore.

This had been happening for quite a few months now, getting "hyper attacks" out of nowhere and being unable to do anything until it calmed down. Ethan hadn't a clue what it was called or what you would call it. He described it as having a tic attack but without Tourettes. Stim attacks, hyper attacks, sort-of-tic attacks. He wasn't sure, but it was really starting to stymie his daily life. It had gotten to the point he missed uploads for almost an entire week because he couldn't stay focused and still to even do anything. He had figured–and had hoped–it would calm down at some point, especially because it had randomly come out of nowhere, seemingly anyway.

Ethan huffed in frustration and snatched his phone off of his desk, unlocking it and going to his contacts, scrolling until he found the one he was looking for. He could have just looked it up in the search bar but he couldn't even remember what he had named it at the moment. He called the contact, his leg still bouncing away.

"Dr. Ray's office for mental health, how may I help you?" Ethan knew her voice anywhere at this point.

"Hi, my name is Ethan Nestor, I'm a patient of Dr. Ray's and I was wondering when his next available appointment is?"

Some clicking sounded, followed by the receptionist quipping an "okay" and presumably looking up his schedule. "Dr. Ray has an appointment available for next Thursday at 10:00 AM. Is that okay for you?"

Ethan sighed in relief, that was much sooner than he had been expecting. "Yes, that's awesome actually. Thank you so much."

"Of course. We'll see you next Thursday at 10 o' clock in the morning then Mr. Nestor."

"Alright. See you then." And then the line clicked.

To say that Ethan's week leading up to his appointment had been stressful would be an understatement, just to say the least. He hadn't been able to focus at all and it was really messing with his uploading schedule. Out of the seven videos he was supposed to have uploaded, he only uploaded two. The second being a video explaining what was happening and that he was planning on going back on medication to help. People were overwhelmingly supportive and honestly Ethan felt so loved by a community of people he hardly knew and they just loved him for playing games.

Ethan arrived at his psychiatrist's building, only a few cars parked, most likely the workers. He stepped out of his car and locked the door, the gravel crunching underneath his feet catching his attention briefly as he walked up to the door. It was only a little chilly outside, a slight breeze every now and then that made Ethan shiver, so the warmth from inside welcomed him a lot.