Waiting for Him

Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Today is Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015. The only highlight of my day was presenting my speech in Mr. Mercer’s class. I realize now that posture and volume of the voice is everything. I need to make my move soon fast  because the eighth grade formal is coming quick fast. Only 51 hours, 37 minutes and 14 seconds left. Why must our relationship be so difficult, my Justin? We are like positive and negative magnets. We are very close, except when we are not in school near each other, we are so distant, leading two different paths. Tomorrow I need to tell myself, “how bad could it be? All Justin can do is say no.” No...that word will ring in my head for the rest of the day.

I get up out of my bed, walk to the room door, and stop myself. Taking those few moments at the door to recollect what has  become out of this day. In the midst of my recollection, the phone rings. It’s an emergency.

Nobody has explained to me why we are here. My family has worried expressions while mine is plain blank.

“Enzo, are you scared?,”asks my mother. “You’re not showing much emotion to the situation.”

I give my mother a puzzled look. “What situation? You still have not even told me why we are here. What is going on?!” I boom. I think to myself, just keep your mouth shut and listen. Let mother and father do all of the talking.

“My mother...your grandmother. She has gone into cardiac arrest.” I hear her voice crack. I did not intend for this to happen. I give my mother a small squeeze. I think that would be the best choice of action at this point.

“Why...just why. Why today? Why now? She can’t leave yet! It is not time. Her time is not until I graduate! Until I am ready to say goodbye! NO!” I promised I would not, but I end up shedding a tear.

Crying, fear, and grief are all part of this process that I  would not like to take part in. Again, cannot be avoided. I walk around the hospital in my frustration. I stop, like the many times that I have this day. This time, to see something even more terrible, even more heart-wrenching, even more frustration. I feel as if I could explode. I look away, telling myself, this is not happening.This is not real. It is a dream. Sadly, this is a not dream. It is reality. I even know it is because I see Cameron sitting in the waiting room across the hall. I know exactly why he is here. I did not ask questions. Right there, what I saw, who I saw on that operating table. The cute little nose I love so much.

It was Justin…