Is This Home?

Chapter 10

Chapter 10. A Fresh Start

I could hear the guys' heavy breathing as we sped through the streets back to my house. We managed to make our way back to the coffee shop and got into my car. No one has said a word the entire time after our escape which was concerning to me, considering we needed to work out a plan right now, but I didn't dare start a conversation. I was worried about not having a plan but I was more worried about what the guys would have to say to me. Now that we were out of the warehouse and the immediate threat was gone reality set in on what had just happened. I kept my eyes on the road, nervously glancing at my rear-view mirror, partially to see if Andy was following us but mostly to see what the guys' expressions were. I was hoping to get something from the look on their face, but mostly they just looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out. If they were going to yell at me, I wanted them to just do it now. But no one responded. They simply looked at me in the mirror before their gaze fell back to their lap. I looked at Vic who was sitting in the passenger seat with his face forward. He didn't seem fazed by my sudden apology. "Anyone?" I urged to get a response.

"The fuck you want us to say Kellin?" Jack announced.

"I don't know," I whispered, I wanted to know what they were thinking, I wanted them to forgive me. I know its selfish to say.

"I can't believe you were going to fuck us over like that." Nick chimed in. I guess Jack got the conversation started.

"I wasn't going to go through with it I swear." I pleaded to them. Although in reality, if Vic hadn't shown up, I'm not sure what I would have done.

"You would have," Vic interjected like he was reading my mind, but still refused to look at me though. "Don't lie Kellin.".

I rolled my eyes in an attempt to stop myself from crying. I needed to be strong right now. I had to get us out of this mess considering I was the one who got us into it. No one responded after that, including me. It was selfish of me to feel sorry for myself right now, but I couldn't help it. I had to learn to survive after going through my heartbreak with Vic and the unfortunate end of my relationship with my mother. I couldn't help but think, if I had just done something different. Maybe if I didn't run into Andy that day at the coffee shop none of this would have happened. If I didn't go back to him after Jack and I broke up, things might have ended better. But instead I threw myself onto Andy from the day I had met him, confiding all my sorrows and heartbreak with him. He was one of the only people who wanted me, and it was the feeling I longed for. I wasn't sure if Vic would ever want me the way Andy did. Especially now.

"Kellin?" Someone said, bringing me out of my head. I realized I was crying, tears streaming down my face. I quickly brushed them off with the sleeve of my shirt, trying to play it off. I didn't want them to know how weak I was feeling. 

I cleared my throat "What?" I responded sternly.

"The lights green." It was Justin. I opted to not respond and just drove the rest of the way home in silence. We arrived at my place hastily and sat in my car in the driveway. The drive was over and we now had to either come up with a plan, or break up our group. 

"If you all want to go our separate ways I understand, please leave now though as Andy will look for us," I told them all. I held back my tears as best as I could, knowing this truly was the end. I felt like smacking my head into my steering wheel out of anger. Perhaps if I knocked myself out I would wake up and this could all just have been a dream. 

"I'm staying," Jack replied casually. I spun around in my seat to look at him, my jaw practically hit the floor.

"What?" I croaked out in reply. Did I hear him right?