I've been the top 1 student for 3 consecutive years in highschool, not until he transferred and dethroned me.
I looked at the final ranking of the top students, and I can't help but to feel dissapointed.
My name is in rank 2, I looked at Seongmin's name alongside his picture, I am so jealous, that should be me! It should've been me.
I heard a loud cheered nearby and saw it was him and his friends, he must be so happy for ranking first.
I am so mad at myself, No matter what I do, I can't beat him, academically or extra curricular activities, I can't make it. I'm always behind him, always left behind.
He's a threat for me, the one who took everything I have. I always see him as a competitor, yet not even once I defeat him.
I exited the bulletin board and started to go back to our classroom.
When I arrived, Everyone is congratulating and cheering for him. That was supposed to be me.
But I can't argue with anyone else, it was quite visible that we did better that me.
“Congratulations Seongmin!” Our homeroom teacher said as everyone clapped for him.
I looked outside the window as he is expressing his gratitude to everyone when the bell rang.
“Okay lunch break!” the teacher said as everyone started to empty the classroom.
I put my earphones on and closed my eyes, well I guess I need to try harder, harder than my efforts I poured this grading period.
Someone poked my arms which made me look at him.
It was Seongmin, smiling brightly to me.
“Hey congratulations!” He said and smiled.
I ignored him and put back my earphones when he suddenly stopped me.
“Aren't you going for lunch? C'mon let's eat together?” He asked.
He was trying so hard to be nice to me but no, never in my life I'll be befriend with a competitor.
“Can you just leave me alone?” I asked him sarcasticly, he must've been shock with my actions, I always used to be calm and peace but I'm quite sensitive today.
“I'm sorry, I was trying to get close to you again.” He said.
I just smirked at him in disbelief, is he trying to insult me? I stood up and leave him.
I started to made my way to the library, I look around and saw everyone is hanging out with their circle of friends, I used to have that kind of friendship but they all move to states and abroad and I'm the only one left behind for one reason, my mom.
I'm an illegitimate child, my mother is dad's mistress, and I'm prohibited to see her. I was only 7 years old when my dad brought me to his home, his own family and took me away from my mother.
My dad and I came up to an agreement that If I continue my rankings, he'll allowed me to see her, once a month only. But that is better than not to see her.
I went back to reality when my phone rang.
It was my father.
“Yes dad?” I asked him nervously.
“I at your school's gate, come here now!” He said with voice full of authority. He probably found out about the rankings.
I instantly run in the school gate and I saw him standing infront of his car.
“Dad.” I said and approached him.
He looked at me showing visible anger on his face.
“Rank 2? What a disappointment!” He yelled at me.
“I'm so sorry dad, I'll do my best this time dad, I'm sorry!” I answered as tears started to built up.
“You will never see your mother again until you come back to your senses! I want you to be the best, the first, and not only a runner up.” He said and went inside his car.
“Dad, don't do this to me please? I'll do better this time, just let me see her.” I plead him yet he ignored me and started his engine.
Feeling disheartened, I went back to school and went straight to the rooftop and cried myself out.
I feel so suffocated and I can't breathe, All my life I've been striving myself so much, pushing myself beyond my limits. Why does everything don't go as what I planned it to be?
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired to study hard and pretending to be smart enough because am clearly not.
I'm so tired to get rid of people who wants to get near me because I see them as a threat.
I'm so tired to please everyone.
I was crying so hard not until I realized that I suddenly fall asleep.
Moments after, I woke up feeling cold, I realized that I fell asleep here in the rooftop and it's already dark! Oh my goodness, did I slept that damn long, I look at my wrist watch and it was already 6:30 in the evening. I stood up immediately and went to the rooftop door but It was locked. goddammit.
I knocked hard and shouted
“HELLO, IS ANYBODY OUT THERE PLEASE HELP ME” I shouted. I look below and the lights were starting to dim since school curfew is only 7 pm. Oh no!
“PLEASE HELP ME I'M LOCKED HERE!” I shouted again and start to cry, I'm panicking. I'm scared.
I started to kick the door and tried to open it over and over again but it was useless.
Where's my phone? My phone!
I roamed around to look for my phone luckily it was still alive, I instantly composed a message to my dad but I realized he'll just make things worst if he find out that I skipped class. I look up into my contacts to look for someone to call help but I have no one to.
A cold wind pass through me which made me stopped, scrolling my phone, followed by falling of things placed above a table near me.
My heart started to pound fast, I kick the door and trying to unlock it again, when a loud bang behind me cut me. I literally frozed, afraid that if look at it I might saw something horrifying.
“Please save me!!” I cried out loud.
I looked at my phone and started to type a message to our class groupchat.
“Does anyone of you live nearby school? Please help me, I'm locked at the rooftop.” I said and tap the voicecall to make them notify.
I heard aloud screeching sound again behind me which made me even scared. Please just please anyone save me or else I'll jump off this building just to get away with this.
Everyone just put a 'haha' emoticon on my message, it seems like no believes me.
Why does this happening to me?
I was about to reopen the door when something was thrown into my head lightly, I looked at the object that hit me, and saw it was a white plastic cup with a print of 'come & join me here' followed by a woman's soft laughs into my ears that brought me shiver.
I'm going crazy, I'm so terrified!
I burst into tears as I tried to open the door and making noise.
“PLEASE HELP ME!! HELP ME!! I'M HERE!! I'M LOCKED HERE AT THE ROOFTOP!!” I yelled out when the door suddenly opened up,
I look the man who's infrontof me who opened the door and saw that it was Seongmin.
With no hesitation I hugged him trembling hands, and started to cry even more.
“Hush it's alright, I'm here. I'm always here.” he said and tapped my back.
You're right, you're always there when I needed you the most yet I'm always pushing you away because you're a threat not only academically but a threat to my heart as well, because If dig deeper, I might not be able to escape.
My ex bestfriend.
