Continuous Misfortune

Greeting Cards

Jim Williams sat at his desk, in his cubicle, on a Tuesday morning. He worked at a company that specialized in coming up with those little annoying notes in all cards that you get from your grandma for every occasion. It wasn't a bad job, in fact Jim quite enjoyed himself as he wrote each cheese filled line making sure to put as much feeling and sentiment into this card.

"You are the light of my life, my friend my wife. So sorry I cheated, I wish my actions could be deleted. But she came onto me, I acted unwillingly. So please just forgive me, you're super duper baby."

Jim smiled in satisfaction at the words he had worked tirelessly to produce. He figured with a little handwritten note at the bottom from the man in question, and a rose bouquet, this card could save at least five marriages and that made Jim feel good inside. He smiled in pride at his work, pressed "submit" at the bottom of the word document and sat back taking a sip of coffee before he went back to work on his next card. As he set his "#1 Uncle" mug down on his desk there was a knock on the wall of his cubicle. Jim turned to see Mary Smith standing there with a worried expression. Mary had been interesting to Jim ever since he had come to work at the office. She was the kind of woman a man could instantly see himself with. The blond hair pulled in a tight ponytail, the grey blue eyes shrouded by black thin rimmed glasses and the muted dull colors that her entire everyday wardrobe consisted of. Plain. Simple. Perfect.

        "Did you get the memo?" Mary asked looking a little worried. Jim shook himself out of a trance and sat there a second thinking over what she had just asked. Jim checked his email every twenty minutes like clock work, if there had been a memo he was sure he would've seen it the last time he checked which had been around twelve minutes before.

        "Um..." Jim turned back to his monitor, he should check anyways, and pulled up his email. "NO NEW EMAILS" read the bright screen, Jim turned back to Mary. "No, should I have?"

"I don't know, everyone else did, they all went to a meeting conducted by Mr. Jones himself, even Gary."

        "Gary? The temp? He was given a memo but we weren't?" Jim felt a strange sensation in himself that most would identify as either anger or constipation. He had worked here for five whole years, working after hours and weekends to fill quotas; Mary had worked there even longer. They had tirelessly written message after message, bringing up sales by a whole 2.3 percent. Yet somehow Gary the temp was more vital then them to the company they had given their lives to. Jim wouldn't stand for it, no Jim couldn't stand for it.

        "That is what I thought, so I went to ask Jane, you know the secretary with the unicorn mug?"

        "Yeah, yeah, Jane Hayes."

        "Yeah, she was gone too, and the secretary upstairs, Robin, and Kenny was gone too!"

        "Kenny is a janitor!" Jim yelled standing up, outraged.

        "That's what I said," Mary scoffed, "so what do we do Jim?"

        Jim stood a while coming up with a plan, he was half tempted just to sit down and continue on his work, making up excuses to himself about why he and Mary didn't get a memo. But then he glanced down at his mug, he wouldn't be the #1 uncle if he just let himself get stepped all over. Granted Jim had no idea what this meeting was even about, but he still felt he should be there and then it came to him, a plan so brilliant, so daring it gave him chills to think about it.

        "I say we go to that meeting." Jim said feeling a rush of adrenaline and self-empowerment, since unknown to him.

        "But... we weren't given a memo." Mary said uncertainly, Jim knew that this was scary for her too, it would be scary for anyone in his situation at least that is what he thought.