Continuous Misfortune

Jobs at Stake

        Mr. Jones sat in his office at the Jones' Greeting Card's Co. He was filing an endless amount of papers, paying bills, and the like. Anyone who thought being the head of a company was easy, deserved a bullet in the head. It didn't make matters any better that he had just recently lost his two best message writers in a completely unimportant incident involving a late janitor. Mr. Jones sighed then looked at his watch, it was 10:20 a.m. all his employees should be in by now, yet his assistant, Jerome, hadn't come in with his coffee yet. He picked up his phone from his desk and dialed his secretaries number. The phone rang twice before she answered.

        "Yes Mr. Jones?" The Secretary asked.

        "Has Jerome Turner shown up yet Sara?" Mr. Jones asked.

        "No, I haven't seen him. It was a long weekend though, we have to expect a few late employees."

        "I'm sure you're right," Mr. Jones agreed and sat back in his chair. "Has the new janitor shown up yet?"

        "Yes he has, he is currently cleaning up the men's bathroom on the fifth floor."

        "Alright, let me know if he makes any mistakes."

        "Sure thing, but what if he doesn't?"

        "Guess we'll have to use Gary next month then."

        "Alright I'll keep you--- oh, Jerome is on his way in sir."

        "Thank you Sara," Mr. Jones hung up his phone just as Jerome walked in. "You're late Mr. Turner."

        "I know that Mr. Jones," Jerome said standing in front of his desk with a blank expression.

        "You know how much I value punctuality don't you Mr. Turner?"

        "Yes I do Mr. Jones," Jerome said. Mr. Jones looked up from some papers.

        "Where's my coffee Jerome?"

        "I drank it sir,"

        "And why did you do that?"

        "Because I'm not your assistant anymore so the coffee was actually mine."

        "What do you mean Jerome?" Mr. Jones asked bewildered, he hadn't fired Jerome, he certainly hadn't promoted him.

        "I quit Mr. Jones, I've decided I hate it here and I can do better things."

        "No you can't!" Mr. Jones scoffed standing up, slamming his hands on his desk, slightly startling Jerome. "You're Jerome Turner, your broke, your only friend is a gold fish named Anafin Skyswimmer---!"

        "Actually Anafin has died,"

        "So now you have no friends, the only girl who've ever loved is out of your leauge and your a chain smoker on a straight path for lung cancer! Working at this company is the best you will ever do!"

        "Well Mr. Jones on Thursday I would've beleived you, but this weekend has made me realize some things. I spontaneously just up and stopped smoking. I won the lottery while in Vegas, yeah I went to Vegas where my new girl friend Gwen was approached by a modeling agent and now I am dating a model. For your information I have a friend his name is Kyle, he is a heroin dealer who I bail out of jail every third Tuesday of the month, I should actually probably stop doing that. Man, I am living the good life and I don't need your demeneted company weighing me down anymore! Wow, that felt good."

        "What do you mean demented!?" Mr. Jones asked.

        "Dude, you killed Kenny on the meeting table last week."

        "Yeah, so the greeting card gods won't be angry,"

        "There is no greeting cards god, you are just psychotic! Mary and Jim left and so am I!"

        "Well that is unfortunate Jerome, because I really did like you, you were a good kid."

        "Why are you talking about me in past tense?" It was as Jerome asked this question that he felt a sharp pain in his chest.

        "Because Sara just shoved a wooden stake into your heart." Mr. Jones smiled as Jerome tried to speak and then fell to the floor. "Your fired Mr. Turner."

        "Such a shame," Sara said stepping over Jerome's twitching body and walking over to Mr. Jones' desk. "Should I call up the janitor?"

        "Yes thank you Sara," Mr. Jones said taking the clipboard she had in her hand and signed his name at the bottom. Sara took the clip board back and smiled.

        "By the way you have interveiws for people to fill Mary and Jim's slots at three."

        "Thank you Sara."