It Would If You Were Smarter

A Perfectly Unordinary Morning

"Good morning, Dolores."
"Good morning, Five, dear."
Stretching and yawning, he climbed out of bed, taking his beloved by the shoulder and carrying her with him, just as he always did. He put on his Academy uniform, the only thing he had that fit now that his body had gone back to being 13.
"God I need new clothes," he sighed.
"I think you look adorable in your little schoolboy outfit," he heard her respond, teasingly. He fussed with his coat and tightened his tie, scoffing a little at Dolores's remark.

The bell rang downstairs, and Five faintly heard Grace calling out for everyone for breakfast. Pushing his hair into place one last time with his hands, he took Dolores and headed down the stairs.

Diego was the first out of his room when mom called him, as always. He saw Five out of the corner of his eye coming out of his own room, and paused to say good morning, but before he could get the words out, he froze.
"Who's the lady friend, Five?"
Five raised an eyebrow at his brother. "What do you mean? This is Dolores, same as it always is. Who else would it be?"
The woman stood tall next to Five, with stunning red hair and a yellow beret. Diego didn't recognize her at all, but she couldn't be Dolores. Sure, that's the same shirt she always wore, but this was a real, human woman, and Dolores was, well, not that. She also raised an eyebrow at him, before turning to Five and softly asking, "Doesn't he recognize me? He's met me enough times."
"Seriously, Five, who is this, okay? Don't give me this bullshit," he growled. He stood in front of the stairway, blocking Five's exit.
"I already told you. Now if you don't mind, you're making us late to breakfast." Five took a step forward, holding his arm around the girl, and jumped past Diego to the stairs in a flash of blue.

Oh my god, he was serious. Dolores? It can't be her. How could he not know? Doesn't he know she's... doesn't he know that this new girl is... real? He can't not know. This has to be a joke.

"You in there, Diego?" Klaus snapped his fingers in Diego's face a couple of times, "You're not one to be late to breakfast, knifey."
"I was just- Five, he- you know what, I'll show you, come on." Diego grabbed Klaus by the hand and dragged him down the stairs.
"Dude I know how to walk by myself, let go of me, come on, what's this about?" Klaus protested.
"Just shut up, you'll see."

Diego marched down the stairs, Klaus's wrist in hand, to the dining room. They were the last ones downstairs, and everyone else had already sat down to eat. Diego let go of Klaus and sat down at his place, but Klaus stood in the doorway, staring at the red-headed woman seated next to little Number Five.

Maybe Ben is right about not starting the morning off with drugs.

Diego looked back at Klaus and motioned for him to sit down. Klaus stayed right where he was, and stared a little longer.
I see her too, Klaus. Who the hell is she? He heard Ben from just behind him. He looked back at Ben and hissed, before finally speaking up.
"Okay, I'm not the only one who sees her, right? Did I overdo it this time or is there a girl sitting next to Five that isn't usually there?"
"Oh thank god, I'm not crazy. I thought I was imagining it," Vanya said, like she'd been holding her breath since she sat down. "Why are we all just ignoring this?"

Diego slammed his hands down on the table, practically leaping from his chair.
"THANK YOU, someone understands. Five walked out of his room with her this morning and gave me some shit about her being Dolores."
"Oh for- She is Dolores, Diego. I don't understand why everyone is freaking out, nothing has changed. Dolores is next to me just like she always is, nothing is different about her or about me. Would someone explain what's going on?" To Five, nothing was different, truly.

He wasn't messing with his siblings, he wasn't pulling a prank, he truly didn't know anything had changed. This is just how Dolores always was for him: a real woman with a real voice and real opinions.

Luther and Allison glanced at each other, and Allison cocked her head at him as if she was directing him to do something, or say something. He stood up the same way he always did, like he was important and in charge.

"Alright, Five, what is this really about? Who is this girl?" he demanded. The girl looked at Luther, and then back at Five, who gave her a little nod.
"He's told you a few times already, but maybe if you don't believe him, you'll believe me. My name is Dolores, I'm Five's wife, and we've all met countless times before. I don't understand why you're all suddenly acting like you don't know me, but it's not cute."

Diego paused and looked at Grace for a moment, who was washing up from cooking. "Mom, did you notice this?"
"Of course, Diego, but Five told us who she was, so there's nothing to worry about."
"You just believed him? Just like that? Mom, you know Dolores isn't-" Diego stopped himself before finishing his sentence, knowing that it would only annoy Five further.
"Dolores isn't what, dear?" Grace asked, tilting her head a little.
"Yeah, Diego, Dolores isn't what?" Five echoed accusingly.
"You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter." Diego sighed and went back to eating his breakfast, looking up at the strange girl across from him every few bites, just to make sure she wasn't suddenly a threat.

Klaus looked to Diego and whispered, "Mom even gave her food, do you think she's wearing down again? Shouldn't she have some sort of safety mechanisms in place for this? Like, intruder alerts or something?"
"I mean, it's possible, but Pogo just fixed her, it doesn't seem likely. The only other thing I can think of is that Mom doesn't think she counts as an intruder, which means she actually belongs here."
"Which would mean-"
"That Five is telling the truth, yeah. I don't know. He can't be, can he? That's just crazy."
"Honestly, Diego, even if he is, it's the most normal thing that's happened this week. I wouldn't be all that surprised."

Diego started to talk again, before noticing that Five was staring daggers at them from across the table.
"You know I can hear you, right? You two are awful at whispering."
Diego froze and looked at Five for a moment, before muttering some half-assed apology under his breath.
"Now, if you're done talking about us behind our backs, maybe we can finish breakfast peacefully for once?"