Sweet Karma

Chapter Nine

Cali woke up with small noises around.  She was blinded with the sunlight coming from the window.  When she focused her sight on her surrounding, she can see Luke getting dress and his back facing her.  His back was tensed.

'I told you.  It's a big mistake to sleep with him.' Her thoughts mocking her.

She closed her eyes and shallowed the bitter taste of her saliva.

'Just pretend  you're still asleep then he'll leave and you can cry your heart to its content.'

Cali rolled over on the bed  so Luke can just see her back.

"Stop pretending you're asleep.  I know you're awake."

She did not respond.  She didn't know what to say to him that will make the situation less awkward. For God's sake, she will just tell him about Lucas, not to have sleep with him. 

"How should we go from here, Luke?" She asked with a small voice.

Luke sighed.

"I needed a distraction and you're there."

Cali got up and sat on the edge of the bed then she stared at Luke. There's no trace of the Luke she shared a passionate night with.  He was back, the brooding and emotionless.

"Did you just use me?" Cali tried hard not to break down. She had to save her pride at least. She cannot let him know how much his words affected and hurt her.

"If I'm not there, you will sleep with another woman." She spat bitterly.

"Miss Javier..."

"So, we're back on Miss Javier."

Luke exhaled deeply.

"I know it will be a mistake sleeping with you again, just like the first time."

Cali can't stop the raging feeling envelop her. She stood up and slapped Luke.

"Maybe that's a mistake for you but I never regret it. Because it gives me a gift, a very special gift." Lucas, our son. She wanted to add but bit her tongue.

His words are like a sword splitting her in half. If there's a hope in her heart that they can be together before this happen, it vanishes as she looked into his eyes. It was full of regrets.

"Cali, we had a heartbreaking past.  Yes, I''m attracted to you but I cannot go there anymore.  My wife just died and now, I slept with my ex who broke me years ago."

"Luke, she died 8 months ago.  I know it's to early but you need to move forward."

"Yes, you're right.  I need to move forward but not with you, Cali. Definitely not with you. I can't. Anyone but not with you."

Cali was crushed, literally her inside.  How would you feel if the father of your child is willingly move forward but not with you, and for Christ's sake, you just spent a night together.  That fucking hurt.

A lone tear escape from her eyes, showing her hurt and frustrations but she immediately wiped it.  She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hurting her.

"Why? Is it because of what I did in the past? Luke, everyday of my life, I'm suffering the karma of what I did to you. Hurting you was my biggest mistake and I will regret it my whole life."

Luke didn't seem to be affected by her words.

That made her realize, it's really done.

Their story has no second book. They are done years ago and she is the one to blame.

They are done years ago but her karma will be forever, it will haunt her 'till she die.

Cali smiled bitterly.

"God. I was so gullible.  Of course, you will never forgive me. I ruined your life.  I hurt you so much."

"Let's move on, Cali. Pretend that it never happened. I will be back to US next month and will be staying for good there. I have no reason to stay here in Philippines."

"You're going to US?" Cali is panicking inside.  She needs to tell him about Lucas.

'Telling him about Lucas will trap and tie him to you forever.  He will hate you more for that. Remember? Anyone but you. Don't be desperate. Let him truly move on with his life without you.'

"Get dress and I'll bring you home." Just that and he left her.

The car ride going to home was so silent. It was a deafening silence. After 30 minutes, they arrived outside Cali's apartment.  No one dares to say a word.

"What if I get pregnant?" She said on a small voice, almost a whisper.

Cali wanted to take back the question but too late, Luke already heard it.

"We used protection. That will not happen."

We used protection but look, Lucas still come out. She wanted to reason out.

"It's not always hundred percent sure."

"You're in pill, right?"

"I am not." Why would I take pills?

"Fuck!"

Silence.

"We'll deal with it if that happens."

"Okay. I'll go now. Drive safely."

Cali walked out of his car but Luke stopped her.

"You know me, Cali.  I have a word.  I won't abandon my child no matter who is their mother." Luke said while looking into her insure eyes. "I am not like the father of your child who left you."

"He didn't leave me."

Luke was surprised.

"Then why?" He was confused. "Are you still together with him?"

Cali shook her head.

"No. I didn't tell him about my son."

"That's fucked up, Cali. Really fucked up." Luke said with disappointment. "You never gave him a chance to be a father. No matter how shitty of a person he is, he needs to know that he has a responsibility."

Cali looked down to her feet.  She cannot look into Luke's eyes without looking guilty. She was afraid that her eyes and mouth will betray her.

"I hope you won't do that to me, Cali. If you become pregnant with my child."

Cali just shook her head.

"I have to go.  I am really, really sorry, Luke.  I know you'll despise me forever.  I am sorry."

"What do you mean, Cali?"

Cali turned around and run to her apartment.

She feels horrible and disgust with herself.  She thought she was doing a Luke's favor by not telling him about Lucas but that was very selfish thing to do.

She didn't know what to do anymore.

She wanted to let him know about Lucas but she was afraid and she didn't want to tie him with her just because of the responsibility.