Wolf of Worlds

One

A/N First fic on here, keep in mind that it takes place right after the events of KoA.

Fenrys was silent, his eyes fixed on Aelin as her friends chattered around them. But she wasn't looking at him, wasn't thinking of him.

Instead, she was absorbed in a heated debate over trade agreements with Rowan and Aedion, looking as lively as she ever had.

Not that Fenrys cared, of course, if she had forgotten him.

He just had no idea how she could do it, how she could pretend like that. Pretend to be fine, to laugh, to smile at her mate, when only days ago, everything had been falling to shit.

"Aelin," Fenrys muttered, reaching to her and grabbing her shoulder. He let his fingers dig in, turning her to face him more roughly than he otherwise would have, were they alone.

She frowned at him, those Ashryver eyes glittering in the candlelight.

Over her shoulder, Fenrys caught Rowan's glare. The male had seen how tightly Fenrys gripped his mate, and Fenrys knew that the look was a warning.

Don't hurt her.

Loosening his grasp, Fenrys searched Aelin's face for any sign that she, too, was panicking, was hurting.

He could see nothing but joy.

"What is it?" Aelin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Need me to play fetch with you?"

"Hilarious," Fenrys gritted, glaring at her. "No, actually. I wanted to ask, do you think—"

He was interrupted by Rowan, slinging an arm over Aelin's shoulders.

She grinned up at her mate, and the smile convinced Fenrys even more that she was fine, and he could only be a bother by bringing up all those memories.

Memories that meant he couldn't sleep at night.

Rowan spoke, his voice cheerful, but Fenrys thought he noticed that same touch of warning to his tone. "Hello, Dogbreath."

Fenrys couldn't bring himself to joke. Instead, he smiled half-heartedly, wondering inside how the bastard could live with himself, knowing what Aelin had been through.

She turned her piercing gaze back to Fenrys, her canines flashing in the dimness of the hall.

"What did you want to ask?"

"Nothing," Fenrys muttered, sliding his hands into his pockets to disguise the fists he couldn't stop himself from clenching. "It's nothing at all."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dorian, frowning thoughtfully at him.

"I'm going to go get some fresh air," Fenrys said, fixing in place a reluctant smile. "I shall see you later."

He strode off, trying and failing to keep smiling, swaggering, pretending he was fine. It was too much. The noise, the light, the food, the extravagance. All of the things he had been supressing came rushing back.

Aelin's pain.

Connall's death, and his words.

Maeve.

It was overwhelming him.

Fenrys shifted, ignoring the tears that slid down his face. He was still crying, it seemed, despite the change of form.

He ran until he was out of the castle, out of the city. He ran until he was in the forest, until he managed to convince himself that he was an animal, just an animal, with no emotions, no pain, no burdens.