Shrek has recently gone through a rough divorce with his wife Fiona, and doesn't know how to deal with his grief.
Ratalouis is grieving over the murder of his ex lover Casey. His ex fiance Eleanor has been taken to rat prison for the murder of Casey...
Why? That's a question I've been asking myself constantly lately. why? Why? WHY? How did life become this terrible, no good, very bad life? My wife Fiona has left and took the fucking kids after I cheated on her with Donkey, the kingdom is evicting me out of my own swamp because I've haven't paid my property tax, and Donkey's wife found out about Donkey and I and is plotting to fucking murder me. I'm a fucking orge! How the fuck am I to know how to pay tax? Furthermore, how the fuck am I going to get a fucking job? They think just because I'm an orge that all I want to do is commit first degree murder. Don't they understand I have layers? Besides, I only commit mass murder once a month. These horny motherfuckers just keeping making babies. Don't they know how bad overpopulation is becoming? If only someone would understand my stuggles. Donkey is just my side hoe he won't understand. Maybe I should fuck Lord Farquad again? He was such a submissive bitch, perfect for my many, many, many, many, kinks. My daddy kink, my bdsm kink, other kinks the author can't come up with cause she's a dumbass. My one-night stands also can't handle my 22 foot cock. Donkey, my main side hoe couldn't hadle it either, but Lord Farquad could do more than just handle it. That ended many years ago though... He got tired of my dick and left me for that stupid trap Gingy. I remember his exacts words.
°F L A S H B A C K S°
"SHREK, I'M TIRED OF YOUR STUPID, TINY DICK. I NEED SOMETHING BIGGER, THICKER, BETTER THAN YOUR STINKY POO POO PENIS." His words hurt so much. "I'VE FOUND A BETTER SUGAR DADDY NAMED GINGY HE DICK IS MUCH BETTER! IN FACT, IT 69 FEET LONG!" He walked out my swamp door his ass swaggering away. Oh how I'll miss that ass.
°F L A S H B A C K E N D S° How sad... My eyes started to cum at the thought of Lord Farquad. After milking my eyes for about 4 minutes and 20 seconds I decided to do what always makes me feel better. I'm going to go cry and masturbate to Jojo's Bizarre Adventures. That Bruno MILF gets me off. That Kakyoin is pretty satisfactory though... Damn, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. But they're apart of Jojo's Bizarre Adventures not Shrek's Bizarre Sex Adventures. What a tradegy. I miss my wife Fiona, my personal slut Farquad, and my main hoes Obama and Hitler.
END
Here's a picture to make you cum, you hoes.
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