Back to December (Cake Oneshot)

I go back to December all the time

I actually kind of liked this one shot, so i decided to transfer it here from my ao3. Be warned: I suck at angst. Also I KNOW MORE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRIC TITLES IM SORRY. but listening to the song while reading this is better tbh

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Snow crunched underneath Luke's shoes as he stepped.

Everything looked delicate, pretty, even. But Luke knew December for what it really was. Harsh, cold, bitter. All the appeal can quickly disappear within seconds.

Standing there, Luke remembered that bleak December night again, for the millionth time since the event actually occurred.

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They had been eating dinner when Luke brought it up.

"You know Calum, you've seemed pretty distant lately."

"I'm fine, Luke."

"I don't really think so."

"I'm perfectly fine," Calum insisted through gritted teeth.

"You aren't fine and I know it."

"Luke, are you trying to start another argument between us?" Luke and Calum had been having arguments about everything lately, from petty things, like taking out the trash, to things like paying the rent.

"No, Cal, I'm just making sure that my boyfriend is okay."

"Why does it even matter if I'm distant?"

"Well, maybe it's because I'm the one who's been giving out all the kisses and cuddles, and cooking the meals, and cleaning the apartment. Maybe it's because I'm carrying all the burdens."

In truth, Luke just missed Calum. He missed the Calum who loved him back.

"Oh, so kissing me is a burden now, huh? Have you ever thought that maybe you're just so bossy and controlling, that it's not even worth trying?" Calum spat.

"You are a fucking burden, Calum. I know it, your own mother knows it-"

"Don't talk about my damn mother," Calum stood up, glaring at Luke.

Luke smirked evilly. "Your mother wishes you never born, you're such a burden."

"You're being childish, Hemmings," Calum hissed.

"Yeah, I'm the childish one. You get moody and bitchy over the stupidest shit, Calum, so don't talk to me about childish."

"You know what? I'm done having pointless arguments with you. All we've done is fought for the past two months."

"Good. I'm done too. Goodbye Calum. You should go pack and leave me for good."

Calum couldn't believe the words he was hearing. "G-goodbye?"

"We both know that after that much fighting, there's no way our relationship can be repaired. Goodbye."

"Fuck you, Luke. I can't believe I loved you. I loved you even through the fighting, and you won't even try to fix our mess with me. I've been loving a lost cause this entire time."

"You're the lost cause! You don't even try to save this relationship. Name one time in the past two months that you even seemed mildly affectionate towards me!"

No answer.

"Ha, no answer. Figures. I'm talking to Distant Boy, after all."

"I was distant because I was depressed!" Calum suddenly outburst.

Oh. Luke fell silent.

How could he not read the signs? How could he be so oblivious? Luke hated himself so much in that moment, but refused to blame himself, anyways.