Chapter - 27

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Raymond POV:

"

I felt much relaxed as everything went normal, but there was something she was still holding. Is it that she really correlated with fiction or was it to convince me? I had to give time to her to open up and share her emotions, words and feelings. I returned back to my study and my sunshine's thoughts were not leaving me. I couldn't believe I laughed so much, which is contradictory as to who I am. I went through some important files and when it was about the time for dinner, I had made a move towards dining area.

Tiara was in kitchen head bent holding the kitchen island, she was in her tank top and shorts and was looking amazing from behind. I knew I had to keep all my dirty thoughts aside as it is too early to think about all this. Taking small steps, I faked a cough to bring her attention towards me.

''What's up with you?'' ''Sunshine'' I mumbled

Sunshine the name I wanted to call her always and that I somehow didn't call ever since we departed from Green Park lounge. She turned with hurt and disappointed face. Concern took over me, but I had to hide my emotions to get the answers from her.

''Did anything happen Tiara?''

She didn't say anything in response, just nodded no. I looked at her and I knew my looks would be enough for her to speak.

''i...I am fine''

My eyes frowned. Heck she has the audacity to cover up her feelings when her face tells otherwise.

''Tiara''

She slowly lifted her chin up and looked at me, a layer of tears formed in her eyes. I held her hand and slowly brought to the dining table, pulling out a chair with my leg, I made her sit and poured water into the glass handing it over to her. She drank the water, while I pulled a chair myself sitting next to her.

''I know you are not fine. I want to know the reason''

''I am fine Raymond. I am really fine. I just want to be alone.''

''fine. Good night Tiara'' I said and got up

''You didn't have your dinner Raymond''

I didn't reply and just took steps back to the room. Seeing her sad, had made me forgo my dinner. Something which I never like to skip. What's her problem? Why is she not ready to speak? Everything was good sometime before. I know she was annoyed when I kept laughing, but I could see that she had a smile when she saw me so. I am sure there is something else that's disturbing her. May be she is remembering her family or something else. It's been quite a lot of days she had been alone and if she continues to be alone doing nothing, I am afraid she might slip into depression and that's the last thing I want her to undergo. She had to go out and do something on her own. I should think of something quick and would have to wait for morning and talk to her then.

"

Tiara POV:

"

He laughed a lot. I know I gave a stupid reason that I was correlating the fiction books with my real life. I agree there are similarities but, the fact is fiction is written by taking some real life incidents into view and mixing imagination. I know Raymond doesn't see status or background, but this doesn't change the fact of where I come from. His parents might accept me but if someday someone still points me out then, then what I am supposed to answer.

After Nicholas betrayal and my family's unnatural death, I feel like useless. I more or less became completely dependent on Raymond for everything. From shelter to food to my needs, he has been taking care of me. Even though I am completely sure of not burdening him anymore, I still don't know what to do to lessen his burden.

When he said the words '' I have no intention to give you any divorce anytime now or in future, even in case you ask me again. I too want to give our marriage a chance. You already know what I spoke about what marriage means to me'' I could see honesty in his eyes.

He accepted me as his wife. Being a wife brings lot of responsibilities, she has to take care and fulfil every need of her husband. I can do everything but can I give myself for this relation? I could see a different shade probably a shade of happiness in his eyes when I said about the fictional character making love and having babies. Can he wait for me even if it takes forever? Will he have enough control not look for any other women to fulfil his carnal desires?

All these thoughts were messing up my mind. I have no idea what holds in my future but all I can see now is disappointment and zero confidence. I scribbled all the happenings and my thoughts in my diary and headed towards the kitchen to eat something. Though I am not in a mood to have food, but the last thing I want now is to fall sick and create another burden on him.

I headed towards kitchen, it was already late and I saw food already prepared and put on kitchen counter. I was in no mood to eat the food prepared by cooks, not that the food taste awful, but I wanted to relieve my stress, come out of my depressing thoughts and one way to do so is cook food.

Searching through the kitchen cabinets and fridge. I took a packet of pasta and started chopping veggies. I was trying to make some white sauce pasta and I knew I was miserably failing. Pasta over cooked, veggies burnt and sauce salty. Can it be more disastrous? I turned off the stove, put everything into the bin and stood there holding the kitchen island, my head bent, eyes closed. I felt like a total loser, I couldn't make a simple pasta which I almost made twice a week till few months ago. Cooking was my hobby, passion and something which made me happy and relieved and today the same cooking had disappointed me making me realise I am losing real bad. I was about to burst out my tears when I heard footsteps nearing me. I didn't want to cry before him anymore. I had to hold my emotions.

When he asked me as to what I was up to, I just nodded nothing. I didn't want to look at him because I knew he can read me and I cannot hide my tears anymore, but his looks kept grazing me and when I saw him as expected my tears formed. He held my hands and brought me till the dining area and made me sitting passing a glass of water. I drank and when he asked again what happened, I replied that I was fine. I knew it was rude but what would I say? Should I say that I am depressed? should I scream I couldn't make a simple pasta? Should I say I am feeling like a loser now? Should I say I am good for nothing?

To my surprise he bid me good night even though I reminded him to have his dinner, he denied and left towards his room.

I know I am messing everything. I know I am making everything difficult for him. I know I am not being a good wife, though I wanted to give a chance to this marriage.

I left to my room and slid under my duvet hoping for a better me in the morning.

''

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