RAW Deception (Round 2 in the RAW Instinct Series)

Gregory

Listen to the Music: Imagine Dragons - Thunder.

I left Canton's Cottage with a broken heart.

Shane had promised to let me know the moment he got home and I waited. So many doubts entered my mind. Would I ever see him again? What future did he have with Joe should he choose to marry him? I doubted his love for me thinking that our bonding wasn't solid enough. If the bonding wasn't solid enough, that alone could have a negative impact on our merging.

I should have left with him. I realised I had allowed the man of my dreams to slip through my fingers and before I left Canton's Cottage I asked Raw for Shane's address and just for a moment I felt better. But there was this niggling feeling that I had lost him.

Leaving these glorious mountains behind, I took it out on the car. Slammed the gears in place. Accelerated in slow zones. Overtook on white lines. This wasn't a change of job, or a company transfer or a military commitment. This was pure heartbreak and emotional fatigue. I wanted what we had at the cottage to last forever. Clearly an erroneous expectation of durability.

Back home I unpacked, did laundry time and watered the garden with Shane constantly on my mind. I had his address. I could get into the car and drive there. What if he didn't want to see me? I was sure he had gone to the gym and Curisco didn't tell him. Or maybe he had not gone to the gym.

While watering the garden, a car pulled into the drive and Dirk got out. I hadn't spoken to him since the incident in the Congo, and believe it or not, I actually enjoyed seeing him again.

"Hey, Greg. Good to see you."

"Hi, Dirk. How's everyone? The kids?"

"First you. How was your trip?"

"One word: Eventful."

"I bet you and Edward had a lot of catching up to do."

"He's grown into a fantastic young man and his husband is awesome. We bonded and caught up on so many years. I love the way he calls me dad."

"That's awesome."

"How about you? How's your wife and kids?"

"I told you I'd be divorcing her and it's happening. She took the twins. Staying with her parents."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I need to live my life my way. I'm gay and I should have accepted that years ago."

"Strange you talk like that. I met a guy on the farm and if anything, he showed me that acceptance begins with loving yourself. I missed that. I don't think I want to keep myself a secret anymore."

"I had the same epiphany," Dirk emphasised. "So many years wasted thinking that the other side of me was bad. That it had no advantages. I can finally live a life of freedom and flexibility. Before I came out to my wife, I assumed the responsibilities that go with family life. Now, I can come and go as I please. I have more money and I'm not paying to get laid. It's completely liberated me. I mean, talking about sex is no longer frightening. I'm more relaxed."

"You've learned all this in three weeks?"

"Yup. I've come to realise that my masculinity is no longer in question. There's a group that meets every Thursday night and maybe you'd like to come."

"What kind of group?"

"Previously straight guys who've come out. Guys who are closeted and need guidance. They're awesome people. We're meeting tonight. I'd love it if you could come."

"I was never straight, Dirk."

"I know, but you're hiding. I mean, you're still closeted and these guys make it so easy to mingle and make you happy to be who you are."