to neptune and back, still. // billie eilish

five.

*Katherines POV*

"You have no idea how badly I wanted that." Billie said, pulling away from my lips.

"Me too."

We walk into my house, leading us both sitting on the couch.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't just come over for a kiss. What's up?" I ask, playing with the rings on my hands.

"Maybe I did just come for a kiss." She says, laughing.

Her laugh is so contagious.

"In that case, you can leave now." I say.

"What if I want multiple kisses?"

"That sucks."

And then she leans forward, leaving me under her, and her on top of me. My back was flat on the couch.

She kisses me softly and slowly, like she'd been begging for my kiss.

And it worked.

I kissed her back, but she pulls away before it gets too heated.

"Are you sure that sucks?" She says, pressing her back onto the cushions of the couch.

"You're a bitch." I say, shoving her playfully and laughing.

"Mhm."

"Okay, no really. What did you wanna talk about?" I ask, sitting back up.

"Us." She says, almost mumbling.

But I still heard her.

"What about us?"

"I miss you more than I've ever missed anything in my life." She says, without hesitation.

I just look at her for a second, procession what she said.

I didn't think she felt the same.

"I miss you too." I say back, but I can tell it didn't seem sincere by her reaction.

"I'm still in love with you." She says, shifting her body to face me. "I'm so fucking in love with you."

I smile, looking into her eyes as I start to tear up.

"That's all I've wanted to hear from you for the past few months. Those words. I just wanted to know you still loved me." I say, obviously starting to cry.

"I do love you. God, I love you so much." She says, almost crying as well.

"What about Leah?"

"We broke up last night."

"Damn that's a shame, she was hot."

She pushes my leg slightly, scoffing and rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, she was." She says, laughing.

"Hey, I didn't say you could agree." I say, obviously joking.

"I dont know what else to say." She says.

"We don't have to say anything more. I think we both get the point."

"Let's go watch a movie."

We both get up, walking to my room.

"Woah, it looks different in here."

"Oh, yeah. I changed the entire vibe." I reply back.

"It's dope as shit."

We sit down on my bed, scrolling through movie websites on my laptop, looking for a good one for a while.

And eventually, it just turned into us not agreeing on anything, and her getting tired.

"I have to go to the Experience soon. The fans are going today and I wanna meet some of them." She says, pausing. "Well, I don't have to but I want to."

"You can go do that. I'm not stopping you."

"Wanna hang out tonight?" She asks, standing up.

"Yes."

She nods her head, walking out of my room. But, I follow her to the door.

"Thank you for coming." I say, touching her waist.

"Of course." She smiles. "I want you to know I love you. Truly."

"I love you too."

And then, she left.

*Billies POV*

I walked out the door smiling, but secretly I just wanted to sob.

I missed her touch and her smile and her lips so bad. I missed her laugh and the way her body felt under mine.

I missed her.

I didn't realize how bad I missed it and needed it until it was gone.

And god, the feeling of it being gone was horrible.

I started the car as my thoughts filled my head, making it almost impossible to focus on the road.

I couldn't even listen to music because that would be too much for my small little brain to handle.

So, I just drove. I drove wherever not really realizing where I was going.

I had a place to be, but my brain wasn't registering that. All it was thinking about was that girl.

That girl and her smile.

That girl and her contagious laugh.

That girl who's fingers felt so nice intertwined with mine.

That girl who made me feel like I was on top of the world.

That girl who made me feel love as an emotion and not just a chemical in my brain.

I kept thinking so much about this girl that I could think about anything else.

I couldn't even think about the road that I was driving on or the car that I was in complete control of.

And, I guess that's how I ended up smashed into another car, on the side of the road, almost in a ditch.