quarantine • nick austin

9) "i don't want to be alone"

The rest of the day seemed to fly by for Zay. She spent most of the day making videos with everyone in the house and just laughing. Most of them were bloopers but she didn't care because she had fun.

It was night now and Nick, Ryland, Ondreaz and her were all resting by the pool. They all had their feet in the pool and were leaning back on their wrists except for Zay. She leaned back against Nick.

They all were quiet, just enjoying the sound of the wind go through the trees and the occasional chirp from the bird.

Zay had to admit though, she was falling asleep against Nick due to how soothing her surroundings were.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Ondreaz said as he stood up and stretched. "See ya guys."

Ryland ended up following Ondreaz inside leaving Zay half asleep against Nick.

"Hey," Nick whispered softly to Zay as he nudged her. "Let's go inside."

Zay groaned against him, "I'm comfortable here though."

Nick laughed as he slowly slid back, his arm wrapped around Zay's chest to slowly pull her back with him.

"It's nice to know I'm a good pillow," he joked making Zay giggle.

She finally opened her eyes and stood up. She reached out her hand to him and he gratefully accepted it and she pulled him up. When she pulled him up, he stumbled a bit and ended up closer to her face than she expected.

Both of them felt like they had stopped breathing as they looked into each other's eyes. Zay could feel her stomach going crazy with nerves and Nick could already feel his hands getting sweaty.

It's not time yet, Nick thought to himself as he couldn't help but look at her lips. I need to give it more time even though I want to kiss her so fucking bad.

Nick cleared his throat and pulled away before grabbing their shoes off the floor.

Zay struggles to regulate her breathing and looked anywhere but at him.

He was definitely looking at my lips, Zay thought to herself as she tried to hold her smile. Why is he making me feel this way?

Zay grabbed her shoes from Nick's hand and followed him into the house. When they got in, they both realized how quiet it was.

She turned to face him as he was locking the door.

"Do we have to split up?" She pouted.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he stood in front of her.

She looked at the ground shyly and muttered, "I don't really want to be alone."

Nick's heart began to race as he heard her words. She didn't want to be alone and she wanted him to be the one to change that. She was trusting him to be the one to make her feel secure.

Zay was shocked by her own words but it was truly how she felt. For the past week, they've been attached at the hip, especially after the attack and the more they spend time together, the less she wants to let go. He was consuming her and she was letting it. She was never dependent on someone and he was changing that.

Nick didn't say anything as he dropped the shoes that were in his hands and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She followed his actions and hugged him back, releasing a breath of relief that he didn't deny her.

He began to rock them back and forth making her giggle and pull away. He smiled before grabbing her hand.

"You know you'll never be alone as long as I'm here right?" Nick asked as he stroked away the hair from her face.

She felt her heart melt as his words and she couldn't help the tears that gathered in her eyes. He was all she ever wanted but was scared she's never have.

Ryland's words ran rampant in her mind but she had to push them aside. He was just being a good friend, she thought to herself. He has to say that.

"Dude I don't deserve you," she joked slightly but ended up choking at the end.

His heart soared at that and he instantly pulled her into another hug, "yes you do."

She let out a shaky breath and buried her head in his shoulders. He closed his eyes, holding back his emotions as he hated the fact she had to feel that way. She deserves the world, he thought. She was the biggest sweetheart he had ever met and she didn't deserve the emotional struggles that she was plagued with.

After some time, Zay pulled away. She bent down to grab her shoes and he followed suit.

"Do you maybe want to watch a movie with me?" She asked.

"Of course," he smiled at her and she returned it.

She grasped his hand and lead him up the steps to her room. They threw their shoes by the door and jumped on the bed. Zay laughed as they crashed into each other and she almost fell off the bed. Nick caught her quickly before she could though.

"Nice reflexes," she joked as she slipped under the covers of her bed.

Nick laughed as he slid under the covers with her.

"What are we watching?" He asked as he handed the remote to her because it was on his side.

"Minions," she said flatly.

"Oh hell no," he took the remote from her making her squeal.

"I was kidding!" She said as she ripped the remote back. "We're watching the Edge of Seventeen."

Nick didn't argue with it as he has never seen the movie and just relaxed further into her bed.

"Why is your bed so comfortable?" He asked. "It's soft as hell."

"I didn't spend every day in it," she joked making him roll his eyes playfully.

"Oh haha," he said sarcastically making her laugh.

The movie started and they both got quiet. She moved so that her head rested on his shoulder and he immediately accepted it by wrapping one of his arms around her shoulder and pulling her closer. She smiled to herself as she wrapped her arm lightly around the lower part of his torso.

The movie played but neither of them was focused on it as both of their minds were racing.

She's so beautiful, Nick thought as he looked down as her head. She's so beautiful and she doesn't even know it. She doesn't even know that she drives me absolutely insane when she touches me. It's as if her touch had the power to bring out the most intense feelings I've ever felt out of me. My heart beats so hard when she rests her head on my chest. It's like it was meant to be there. It's like she was meant for me.

Why was I so scared to admit that to her?

Why was I so scared she would judge me for feeling this way when I knew she wouldn't. If anything, she'd just say they would stay friends.

Yet for some reason, he felt like that wasn't the truth. He knew they had something hidden but he was scared if his judgment was wrong.

He's so perfect, she thought to herself as she lightly traced small patterns in his hand. It was like he was an angel sent down from heaven. He made me feel good about myself and safe. He was driving me absolutely insane with his touch. His touch makes my mind race with all the possibilities of what we could become. I've never been so open with anyone in my entire life and that scared me. It's like when he looks at me, I can just tell him anything and it wouldn't hurt because he was there to protect me from the hurt.

Why can't I just tell him how I feel?

Why do I have to be so scared?

Yes, there is a huge possibility that he might not like me back but keeping this to myself is damaging almost. I can't tell anyone, except Ryland, but Nick is my go-to person to tell everything to.

How can I tell my go-to person that I'm falling for them?

The two continued to let their minds race until they couldn't help it anymore as exhaustion took over them.

Someone is bound to explode soon.